Please Join Me In A Collective Sigh Of Relief

I have finally found a style of underwear that I like. Yay me!! Turns out that I **do** in fact like Hanes Boyshorts--the ones I tried last summer were just too small. Now I wear them and they are super comfortable. I went out and bought myself two more packs of them because I was tired of having to wash the same three pair over and over.

I have a drawer full of underwear that looked like it would be comfortable, but isn't. I don't donate undies to Goodwill and I hate to throw things away, so I'm sure they'll sit there in the drawer until I have to throw them away to make room for my new comfy boyshorts. Now I can spend my money on something else--maybe jewelry? I need a good gold bangle--not real gold because I'm too cheap.

Merry Christmas To All And To All A Good Night!

Christmas is almost over here in Middle Tennessee. The kids and W. are long since asleep. Me, I had to wait up until 11.30 so I could take my last dose of Demerol for the night--the knee is being partiularly ornery tonight. I did fine most of the day, and I suppose I overdid things--the back is has a nasty looking knot on it. I shudder to think what is inside that knot--it's looking a bit red and funky, so I think I'll be calling the doctor just to check in. I need this to heal, not drag out into some medical horror story.

Anyway, today was a very lovely, laid-back Christmas. W. was up around 4.30 to make breakfast before he went to work--he definitely has some keeper qualities. Steak, country ham and biscuits. Yummy. I had planned to get up around the same time, but since I was up in the middle of the night dealing with an asthmaticly coughing 8-year-old, I 'slept in' until 5.00. I'm such a bum, lol. Got up and puttered around in the living room getting things just right and then we woke the kids up around 5.15 or so. It took about ten minutes to get them up and going, but once they were awake, they were bouncing. It was so much fun to see Jay and Sam's reactions to their loot. Five was more subdued--it's hard when one of your presents costs two or three times what a brother's does. I tried really hard to make sure they each got three 'big' gifts and then supplemented. I got this idea from a friend--she explains to her kids that Jesus was given three special gifts and that's why we get gifts now. My kids have actually gotten much more into the whole list thing since I told them to just choose three things. They put lots of thought into it and shuffle stuff around as needed.

The Moon Shoes that Jay wanted are actually sort of cool. I'm sure they will just be a novelty, but I liked the idea that they required physical activity, so even if he plays with them once a month, that's better than sitting watching tv for that time. Sam got a scooter--he didn't ask for one, but again, I'm trying to push the outside activities. He said that Santa must really like him to bring such a cool scooter AND a red helmet (red is his favorite color). Five tried to be excited about the fact that he got clothes from Santa--I know he wsn't, but it was stuff he needed, so I decided to add it in to his very paltry looking pile of DVD/PS2 games and a huge Beatles Anthology book.

W. had to go to work at 6.45, so that left me and the boys home alone for the day. Our present to him was a clean house, so we played and napped (them and me) and then I organized a fairly effective cleaning of the dining room (the table had been buried for months upon months). We had to move loads of junk here and there--well, I say 'we', but it was mainly Five. Now there is a huge mess in the office, but I've decided that it makes more sense for one room to be a disaster than for six of them to be, so we started the offloading today. I had Jay on his hands and knees cleaning baseboards and Sam was dusting window sills. By the end of the afternoon, the dining room was shining, a bathroom had been cleaned, the hall had been swept (mostly) and the baseboards in the halls, dining room and part of the kitchen were clean. Floors were mopped and vac'd and everything just looked better overall. Tomorrow and Thursday are bedroom days. They will be painful.

Nice time at MIL's for Christmas dinner. I didn't take any cooked food this year thanks to SIL having pity on me being crippled and on my own. We didn't have any other folks at MIL's, so it was very easygoing and chatty. My boys were hell on wheels, but that's the norm when they get in a confined space without a television or other distraction. The fart putty (or toot in a can as Sam calls it) certainly didn't do much to calm them, lmao.

I went to pick up W. and took him back to MIL's so he could eat and do gifts--he'd worked a 12 hour shift at the hospital and was pretty dead. His feet didn't hurt as much and I am crediting the diabetic socks that I gave him. No, I don't know what makes socks 'diabetic', but I figured they would be comfy and easy on the feet, so I bought them. We'll do a comparison tomorrow to see if it was the socks or not.

So, another Christmas in the books. It's hard to believe that I've been doing the Santa gig since 1993...that's 14 times. It's even harder to believe that I'm over halfway done doing it...and just about to the point where I don't have a believer. Today Sam said, "Wow, Santa sure is a generous man." I almost cried it was so sweet. And while it will be nice, I suppose, to get the credit for the gifts in a few years, I don't know that they will be nearly as awe-inspiring as they are right now. That's a little bit sad.

I hope everyone (or three) that reads this has had an equally blessed Christmas. Take it easy this week and let's get ready to welcome in 2008--the year that I personally feel will be Kimmah's Year.

Christmas Lite

For the past several years, it has seemed as if Christmas sort of snuck up on me. I haven't really been in the mood for it all. This year, though, I was determined to be ahead of the game and get the 'must-have' presetnts in plenty of time, have my house cleaned, etc.

Naturally, I ended up having knee surgery instead. This one was much more involved than the three previous ones, so it's meant a lot more down time than usual and much more than I can really stand.

So, instead of being ready at Thanksgiving for the Christmas season, I ended up leaving all the decorations in the attic and only put up a tree yesterday. I decided that we would do kid-made decorations, so we hung the things that were made at school, plus anything that a student gave me this year. I went out and bought a few strands of colored lights to make it more cheerful--normally, I'm a white light kind of girl. Sam and I made snowflakes out of coffee filters and put them up there and that's about it. Naturally, we have a HUGE tree this year, so it defnitely looks a bit bare, but I sort of like how homey it looks. We may make this a yearly thing--for the one tree. Next year I fully intend to be in mega-holiday mode and have all my trees out, have the garland and knick knacks out and the wreaths hung. This year was just not the year for that--and I'm totally okay with that. Sometimes you need to just step back and take a break. W. and I are really focusing on the kids this year and making Christmas about people more than gifts or hoopla. Sam, in particular, has really been full of Christmas spirit. He is quick to tell anyone who mentions gifts that Chirstmas isn't about getting stuff--it's about Jesus and love. He's a smart one, my Sam.

Because I have been hobbling around on one crutch in some questionable clothes (and in a Demerol-induced haze at times), I feel compelled to wrap up with the famous words of that little crutched boy, Tiny Tim:

God bless us every one!

Things I Love About Christmas1

• Baked goods
• Making lists
• Shopping at places I normally never go such as Big Lots or Kohls
• Being able to be lazy
• Watching my kids get excited over the smallest things
• Helping the boys send emails to Santa
• Eating on Christmas Day
• Wrapping gifts--up to a certain point
• Playing Santa
• Making cookies
• Seeing family
• Christmas lights
• O Holy Night
• Marathons on cable

Dusting off the Blog....

I just had yet another knee surgery and am taking copious amounts of Demerol, so this won't be long--just to make sure I still know what I'm doing. I've been rather spastic at work and home lately, so blogging has really fallen to the wayside, which is a sure sign that I probably need meds for either ADD or depression or both.

Imagine me with a giant "L" on my forehead...or is that an "S"???

cause I? am a total and complete LOSER/SHIRT STEALER. OMG. See? I totally forgot about the t-shirt swap thingy, lost track of the date and the event all togeher and didn't even realize that one had ARRIVED for me until God-only-knows how late. Then I rushed out to purchase mine only to forget about it yet again this week in the turmoil that is the end of a quarter and the rush to pack for a trip to London with Five. And? someone threw my envelope that my shirt arrived in away, so I don't have an addy to send a thank you note to Augie and I feel like an utter heel and classless piece of trash.

I'm not going to say who my recipent is supposed to be because I shall surprise her with my spectacular shirt, plus one from London, when I return, but if you know who you are---I AM SOOOOOOOOOO SORRY!!!

listes

things i enjoy:

1. bananas
2. whole wheat baguettey french bread from kroger
3. max factor volume couture mascara in soft black or auburn
4. cheese
5. flip flops
6. laminating
7. sharp scissors
8. cheap bottled water from aldi
9. maroon 5
10. muscle sculpting classes at the Y
11. digital cameras
12. pedicures
13. cinnamon graham crackers
14. short hair
15. hot tubs
16. boats
17. banana boat sunscreen spray
18. ipod
19. dvr'd top chef and the closer
20. a well written sentence
21. london and new york
22. hair straightening products and utensils
23. myspace surveys
24. stila tinted moisturizer
25. cold zin
26. lavendar and maroon
27. blogs
28. freshmen
29. wedge sandals
30. grilled chicken

things i hate:

1. sweating in the car
2. leg cramps
3. yaz birth control pills
4. protein shakes
5. squash
6. putting away laundry
7. torturous undies
8. shaving my legs
9. 'pro' wrestling
10. senior girls with attitude
11. smelly middle schoolers
12. frigging legos
13. step aerobics
14. bad local commercials
15. morons on message boards
16. spammers on myspace
17. balancing my checking accounts
18. being late
19. being so far away from friends
20. dog hair
21. spider veins
22. hangnails
23. woody allen movies
24. road contruction
25. drunken neighbors
26. cartoons
27. arm fat
28. run on sentences
29. holy rollers
30. getting old

we heart school

sam and me on the first day of school. this is before I took the reds out of my hair (and covered my atrocious roots).

change is in the air

new school year=time to start from scratch:

1. i colored my hair today and did not use anything from the red family--i went with biscotti, which is dark blonde and a cool tone. i'm not sure i like it--it's not that dramatically different, really, just no red tones, but i think it's a bit ashy or cool for my skin. i'm going to give it a couple of weeks and then assess. i'd like to go lighter and blonder--not blonde, really--so i figured i'd just work my way there slowly. now i'm thinking i really do like the red, so who knows.

2. my desk is CLEAN. i can walk in my classroom and see the top of my desk, i can find pens and pencils and i can put my hands on files. it's my new promise to myself--clean desk at the end of every day. we'll see how long this one lasts.

3. i have faculty meetings every monday. by the end of this semester, i think we'll have had more meetings than i've had to attend in the previous 12 years. i'm okay with it, though, because they will actually have a purpose and we'll have goals. what a concept.

4. on a not as pleasant note--our teacher handbook says we can wear jeans on friday with a school shirt or school colors. um. no thank you. i do not want to be limited to school color stuff with my jeans--our school colors are black and gold. yucko. i also have a little bit of an issue with the idea that jeans cannot be 'professional dress' yet knit pants and top sets that essentially look like pajamas would be acceptable. i'm pretty sure that i'm going to wear jeans with whatever i feel like and see if anything is said and then make my argument. part of me thinks that the policy is just a holdover from the past regime and no one ever enforced it then, so i should be okay. technically, i don't think the principal can restrict jeans because it is a contract issue, so i'm hopeful that i will not be relegated to wearing wildcat crap if i want to wear denim.

5. w. has been admitted to the nursing program for the fall, so he'll be quite the busy guy and i'm going to really have to come out of my lazy mode and pick up the slack. i've gotten very spoiled having him around as needed on his own schedule to deal with whatever came along. 18 months from now, though. he should be looking for a job, so it's definitely worth it.

crazy week over and crazy one approaching---i'll be around more, though, i hope. the balancing act begins.

more random

my brain is too fried to focus on one topic, so i'm just going to sort of release the pressure.

1. school starts tomorrow and i have a small bitchy rant. i had the cutest outfit planned to wear for registration day--it's a short day for kids and i can change after they leave. i was going to wear my cute new skirt from target (susan knows the one) and a black tee and my favorite black wedges. very professional and cute and summery. on friday i found out that we are expected to wear a school t-shirt to make the faculty more visible. like i was going to get lost in a high school with less than 200 students? where i've taught for twelve years? where my homeroom students haven't changed from last year? where maaaaybe ten parents will show up in grades 9-12 and need to talk to a teacher? so, the cute outfit is scrapped and i get to wear a gray-tshirt with school crap on it (it's not even cute) and jeans. i don't have a clue what shoes to wear now--my tennies are brown, mywedges are too dressy, obviously, and old navy flip flops are almost too low and make me walk on my hem in the jeans. pisses me off.
2. our internet is so slow, i swear dial-up would smoke past it. charter said it was probably the modem, so we bought a new modem. still creeping along at the speed of molasses. neither of us will be home this week, so who knows when we'll be able to get a service call. pisses me off, too. more than the clothes thing.
3. some friends of ours are having marital problems--probably divorcing. i've never really understood how they ended up married in the first place. i've never known a couple that was so drastically and totally opposite. night/day and then some. do you think that opposites attract? i do, actually. i think there is something inherently interesting and exciting about connecting with someone for reasons other than the typical common interests or background, etc.; however, they are such an extreme that i can't even see where the common thread could have ever been.
4. i love pringles. they have no nutritional value and aren't even real chips, but i enjoy them tremendously.
5. i have spent entirely too much money and time on underwear lately. i am on a quest to find comfortable panties--i've tried several styles and i'm just NOT loving any of them: boy brief, hipster, low rise, low cut. i swear, what does it take to make a pair of underwear that doesn't hang out the top of my pants nor ride up my butt nor put seams in uncomfortable places? sheesh.
6. i'm eagerly awaiting the new matt damon movie, the bourne ultimatum. i have been watching the bourne supremecy on dvr. i have the bourne identity on dvd. love matt damon and love the series. it will be a nice back-to-school treat for me.
7. i do not have killer abs. i will never have killer abs. i go to a class called killer abs and i enjoy it muchly. it's futile, though, rather like banging one's head, or abs, against the wall, i suppose.
8. i'm watching shark and tonight's episode is about a madam. i find it utterly ridiculous that prostitution is illegal.
9. i need to color my hair. i have no idea what color i want to use--i'm sort of sick of the same old red. may do more blonde this time, just for the hell of it while i'm tan.
10. do you have one person that you use as your 'confessor'? a person that you can tell anything without any qualms? other than a spouse or s.o., of course. i think everyone needs a friend like that. i feel very lucky.
11. just to make it odd and get outside my comfort box, i'm going to add an 11. did you know that you can pre-order wheezy's book?

'tis the season...

back-to-school is upon me. i left home at 10 this morning and did not get back for good until 8.30--i did come home long enough to check on the boys and run to kroger for them something for dinner.

my classroom looked like a tornado had struck. it's unreal the mess--a combination of factors at play: 12 years of accumulated teacher crap, i'm a packrat, i didn't file stuff at the end of the year, the painters totally trashed my floors, all of my desks plus another teacher's were heaped in the middle of my room, of my 9 computers, only two were on their correct table/desk with nothing else on top of them, part of my furniture was pulled apart, literally, and i had to empty a cabinet and a bookshelf to deal with the damage, i had about eight boxes of other people's crap in my room, i threw stuff in piles when the rains came, so there is no rhyme or reason, i can't open my desk drawers...and so on.

but today, things are MUCH better. i could teach if i had to, albeit maneuvering around piles of things i can't really totally identify. i have a shitload of filing and sorting to do (the 'put it all in a box' method is NOT effective) and i have to hang up all of my posters, which in itself will take a couple of hours because i have dozens.

i shall post before and after pics to impress everyone with my teacherly devotion.

tomorrow, wednesday, is our last full day to hang out at the pool, so we're heading over there around 11 and may not return until they close at 7 if we're so inclined and not sunburned or too cranky. thursday, i return to work for teacherish meetings and the whole 'get ready to start the school year' deal. i've already planned to work late that night, so i'm hoping that i won't have to spend the entire weekend getting things ready. i have vowed that i will not start the year off with things crammed in corners or shoved under tables--i'm sooooo sick of the chaos. i need calm and order as i face the 33 seniors in my brit lit class this year. yes, 33. last year? i had 12. talk about a drastic change. oy.

random

1. i have one of THOSE zits that hurts like a mofo and is just sitting there, taunting me as it causes most of the left side of my face to throb. i'm 38. i should not be having zits still. it's not fair, dammit.

2. i've started running on the treadmill at the Y. i am so NOT graceful that it is ridiculous. these wee, lithe women sprint effortlessly and silently along on their treadmills while i give the impression that a herd of small african animals are charging toward the watering hole. maybe i need new shoes??? yes, that must be it.

3. my kids have a puking virus. sam started it and passed it to jay and then five. and of the three kids--sam is the super puker. he woke from a dead sleep and went straight to the bathroom, puked, got a drink, and went back to sleep. no huge drama, no vomit onthe floor. just did his thing. he's 6. jay? puked all over the sunroom carpet, which required us to rent a carpet cleaner. he's 8. five? he threw up in a bucket and then proceeded to bring the bucket outside to show me and w. while we were at the neighbors. and then, later, after he'd thrown up again and made such a ruckus i was sure an internal organ had been regurgitated, begged me to take him to the doctor because he 'obviously' had a life-threatening illness. yeah, whatever buddy. he's 14.

4. if i get the puke virus, i'm going to be pissed off if for no other reason because i ate a protein bar today (EAS Advant Edge carb control chocolate creme) which was 1.79 and i'll be pissed off if i throw it up without getting the 21g of protein.

5. today is five's birthday. i am simply not old enough to have a 14-year-old child. i have acne, for god's sake. where did the time go?

6. i wanted some sugar-free ice cream last night and my kroger didn't have any. wtf? i can get edy's sf butter pecan at walgreen's--everyone's source for ice cream products-- but KROGER doesn't carry it? so now i get to pay walgreen's prices if i want to eat it.

7. my classroom is the biggest wreck you can imagine. it is going to take days to straighten thanks to blind, illiterate prisoners who put our stuff back in our rooms after the floors were cleaned.

8. where are all of my socks? where, where, where.

9. i have yet another skort with hidden, mystery shorts. it's very comfy--goodwill, thank you, a liz claiborne. this one has a much more complicated entry, but it looks like a cute wrap around skirt when on. i need a tan t-shirt. i've been wearing white, but tan would look better.

10. jay is the whiniest child in the western hemisphere--8-year-olds annoy me.

here's a rant for you

why the fucking fuck will fucking blogroller not fucking update my fucking blogroll like it is fucking supposed to so i don't fucking have to fucking check the fucking blogs individually and infuckingvariably skip someone's fucking blog or miss some fucking important bit of news or a useless fucking meme that i might have fucking wanted to fuck around with.

from the mouths of babes...

soooooo, i got my hair cut. and when i say cut, i mean serious, no-holds-barred, shorter than my sons' in the back, cut. i was just ready for a change and i decided to embrace my inner posh and go long in front, short in back. i wanted it more like hers but my bangs aren't long enough to pull that off yet, so we did it shorter on the sides and in the back--this way it should grow out fairly smoothly.

anyway, when i got home, i had some serious roots and higlight gaps because she cut a lot off the top and we sort of changed the part. no problem-i always have highlights and/or color around, so i just whipped out the highlights and fixed the problem. or so i thought. i didn't look at the back in the full light and it never even dawned on me that the majority of the color on the back of my head ended up on the floor of the shop (i'm not always brilliantly logical irl). today, sam was checking out my hair and he got very excited.

how cool! your hair is brown like mine in the back!

yeah, sam, really cool. and now i've got to color--but i just did highlights, so if i color over them, i'll lose them and have to do them again--and i really like them right now. damn, damn, damn.


photo--not particularly flattering, but you can see how short the hair is.

pardon the brief interruption

shitty, terrible, horrible, no-good, very-bad mood lately and i have nothing even remotely positive or constructive to post or bitch about, so i'm going to take the weekend to just pull my head out of my ass and get my act together. or get really drunk and forget anything unpleasant. not sure which yet.

i call bullshit

tonight we ate chinese and at the end of the meal, the highlight was, of course, the fortune cookie. even though i don't actually eat the cookie anymore, i still read the fortune because you never know when they might stick in a coupon for a free buffet or something. so, my little scrap of paper contained this view of my future:

a friend is a present which you give yourself

that is NOT a fucking fortune--it's a cheesy, proverby, homily, so WHY was it in my fortune cookie? i guess on an amusing note, i could use my friend kelly's trick of adding 'in bed' at the end of my so-called fortune and it would at least be interesting...assuming the friend had batteries, of course, and not like a real person because that would be, well weird.

a friend is a present which you give yourself in bed

sam has been updated

we made a video.

i'm going to change the whole site around when i get some gumption--the pictures are over a year old. he's getting irritated with me.

i think i need a FAQ

my friend mamakohl has one and, well, if she can, then i can. so now i just need some questions. you can ask them in the comments or you can email me at kim at kimmah.net. and don't go asking me dumb questions--i have to try to look all smart and pithy and witty.

the hell?

nothing infuriates me more than being talked to as if i am stupid child in need of enlightenment. ESPECIALLY on matters of teaching.

back the fuck off.

misc. thing spewing from my brain

the percocet haze--it's an interesting thing.

• my recovery from this surgery has been ridiculously easy--i feel sort of stupid even saying i've had surgery because there is really not that much pain or swelling. i've used crutches only once so far and that was after PT. i'm still bruised, the teeniest bit swollen, and stiff, but really, nothing bad. i took a pain pill tonight because for some reason i thought it made sense to wear 3+inch wedge heels to dinner (probably would have been okay) and then to wal mart. achey, but still not horrible. and the meds dull the pain, yes they do.




• wtf is the point of a skort exactly? i bought one tonight because it was cute and almost knee-length (i have thigh issues) and i thought it was a good alternative to wearing shorts for inservice and the like, but i'm really confused. why the shorts-under-a-skirt? you can't even see the shorts part (i wouldn't have bought it if you could). the front and the back look like a skirt..see here: see? no visible skort markings on the front and none on the back, either. just random shorts underneath. WHY? i guess i can climb a ladder when at work without fear of flashing.


• i'm going to meet with a trainer at the Y tomorrow (was supposed to go friday, but rescheduled it) and i'm determined to take what he says and turn it into my july-obsession.


• i find that i enjoy britain's next top model much more than i do the american version...and i just realized that the presenter (i have no clue what her name is) sounds just like my one of my favorite chicks from the bbc's version of trading spaces--changing rooms. i can't remember her name either--the blonde one who also does home invaders or what every that show is.


• i really like lush's aqua marine face cleanser. a lot. i'm almost done with my sample and i shudder to think how much that's going to set me back when i get ready to purchase a full-sized portion. *shakes imaginary fist at frisque and other lushies for piquing my interest*.


• getting and maintaining a tan takes far more effort than i really ever want to put into my appearance. ditto with getting defined arm muscles, come to think of it.


• i wore a white headband swimming yesterday and when i came home and took it off, it had red blotches on it from my hair color. that is troublesome, to say the least. guess i'll be coloring on a more regular basis during chlorine season, eh?


• o'charley's has the best damn fried mozzerella that i've had. it's expensive, yet worth it. the rest of their menu? not so much.


• i'm going to spearhead 'family yardwork day' in the morning. it should be a real sight to behold. oy.


• blogger offers up 'scooters' as a sample label title--are there really THAT many people who would use a "scooter' category?


• lucy, the blonde chick, just won bntm on my dvr. in case you care. she beat edwina. i'm so glad that my name is not edwina. or lucy for that matter.

100 posts! 100 posts!

this should be some sort of memorable entry, but it won't be. it will be positively mundane and ordinary because i can't think of a single thing to write about that is really 100th-post-worthy. so, i guess that means that the comment section of the 100th post better be kick-ass entertaining, yes?

go to it. comment. enlighten. amuse. commemorate.

the closer?

is on tonight. in about eight minutes. why are you reading this? go watch it!!!!

let's make fun of other people, shall we?

and no, smartasses, that is NOT my picture (i can already hear w. and others plotting out the comments before they've read the first word).

it's been awhile since i was absolutely just flat-out bitchy and mean and rude and holier-than-thou and snobby here (in life, i think it's been maybe 3 hours, give or take). i've been a kinder, gentler kim. but then, i saw something on myspace that just REQUIRED me to embrace my true self. it would be criminal to let this gem slide by without sharing it with those who will appreciate it as much as i did.

so, with that, please take a moment to check out the photo at right, or view the complete profile entitled: Lord Have Mercy, Mom Got Her Blue Jeans On . the user in the photo is named cassandra, she's 37, and she lives in the carpet capital of the world, dalton, ga.

Disclaimers:

1. i did not commit that unfortunate little syntax error in the title--she did. i find it amusing, though, since it completely changes the meaning of the title. and frankly, i think god may have had to intervene to make those jeans button...at least the god of lycra.

2. i don't know this person. she is the friend of a particularly skeevy man who messaged me via myspace to tell me that i 'have sexy eyes'. again, amusing since i have sunglasses on in my profile, but i guess he looked at my photo albums, which gives me hives. and the urge to use clorox on my eyes.

3. be sure to read the comments on the picture if you have a myspace account. they add to the merriment.

Commentary:

1. note the belly tatoo. i say that as if you could possibly miss it.

2. note that her shirt almost looks as if it, too, is some sort of weird full-torso tatoo.

3. note that the socks absolutely MAKE that outfit, don't you think. i can't even imagine what shoes she is going to use to accessorize.

4. note the odd, symmetrical, a-cat-tried-to-climb-her-thighs claw mark runs front and center. why? love of god, WHY would those be put there intentionally? and i can't even discuss the bleached skid marks highlighting her thighs.

5. note that this woman is younger than i am, yet looks old enough to be buggy's older cousin.

6. note the decorative broom in the background and please tell me wtf it has adorning it?

7. note the presence of a white, plastic pool chair in the extreme right of the photo. wouldn't you crop out the use of exterior plastics if you were posting a picture of your home on the internet? yes????

then, if you can stand it? you can go check out what i'm going to refer to as Cassandra: Lady in Red and again, myspace users, the comments from other users absolutely MAKE this one.

i'd offer more commentary, but frankly, i don't have that kind of time.

goodreads.com

if you like books and/or read books, you? should go set up a profile at goodreads.com and then? you should add me to your friends list (if you can't tell, the word ME is a link. click it).

dave is the one who introduced me to it---like a myspace for bookfolks. just reading through people's book lists and finding old favorites or 'must reads' has been ridiculously entertaining to me, but then again, i'm rather socially-challenged like that.

go. join. add.

yo.

• that's really all i got.
• the closer is about to premier. i love the closer.
• i missed the first epi of top chef: miami. pisses me off, stupid dvr and stupid digital cable that doesn't 'see' bravo for some effed up reason.
• i am thru with summer school as of today. going back down to work in my room for a bit tomorrow evening, but that's MY choice, no kids, my time. the way i like it.
• i am having surgery of the knee a week from tomorrow--at least i think it is. that's the 26th, right? i'm totally out of it.
• mr. kim is taking anatomy and physiology this summer---i've not felt so dumb in a long, long time as i did when i tried to help him review. me? not so much a science girl. i know, you're shocked.
• i forgot that once upon a time, i was almost a mod at OT. talk about a flashback--ayak posted about it and it was like, 'hey! that's me!!' and can i just say, the drama from that year? not the mod stuff, but the rest of it? gah. live and learn and become a better person.
• and may i also just add that based on a post sunday night that nearly sent me into frigging coronary arrest, i'm GLAD i don't have to watch my tone or worry about 'playing favorites' there as a mod. argh....flames and steam are shooting from my head right now.
• sam hs been having me 'act out scenes' with him on the digital camera. in this scene, he is 'tarzan' and i'm supposed to be alternately puzzled and then scared. i'm not sure WHAT his looks were, but they sure are cute.
  
  
  

public service announcement

or should that be 'pubic' service announcement?

while undies that are constructed in the manner of pants and, as such, have a seam running down the middle of the crotch might sound like a good idea or even something you wouldn't think you'd notice, it turns out there is more to it than just another seam. not such a comfy idea. i mean, sure they LOOK really cute when you're standing up and looking in a mirror, but walking, sitting and just generally functioning? yeah, not so cute. especially if one is at work and has limited ability to adjust underwear, especially around one's girl parts.

one word survey for you, so do it!

goofy one from myspace, but it's all about me, so that's always good, right? if you read it, you must answer it--either in comments or on your blog. even if you've already done it, dammit. play along, play along.

1. Where is your cell phone?
car

2. You're single/taken?
taken

3. Your hair?
short

4. Your mother?
smoker

5. Your father?
geologist

6. Your favorite thing?
cheese

7. Your dream last night?
forgotten

8. Your favorite drink?
zin

9. Your dream car?
free

10. The room you're in?
sunroom

11. Your ex?
navy

12. Your fear?
water

13. Where were you last night?
online

14. what you're not?
domestic

15. Muffins?
nah

16. One of your wish list items?
vehicle

17. The last thing you did?
ate

18.What are you wearing?
stripes

19. Your pet or pets?
emma

20. Your computer?
laptop

21. Your life?
improving

22. Your mood?
exhausted

23. Missing some one?
yes

24. Your car?
junky

25. Your work?
hellish

26.Like someone?
married

27. Your favorite color?
navy

28. When is the last time you laughed real hard?
sarah's

29. Crush's first name?
rob

30. Dream job?
writer

what would you do differently?

with all the graduations and such right now, i was asked what i would do differently if i could go back and have a do over from graduation forward. interesting. i made some incredibly STUPID choices along the way to becoming an 'adult', so yeah, i'd like to think i could do better next time around, although i suppose all those 'choices' made me a better person in the long run. but, to play along, here goes:

1. put some thought into choosing a major or just be 'undecided' for a year. i wasted time swapping around for two years.

2. realize the importance of college in relation to job-related experiences and take advantage of more of them.

3. enjoy college for what it was and leave high school and that drama behind.

4. in relation to 3, dump the high school boyfriend before i got there. for both our sakes.

5. in relation to 3, don't try to make old friends and old boyfriends into something they aren't and just calm the hell down.

6. go abroad for junior year

7. live on my own longer

8. exercise better judgement in social situations

9. don't eat so freaking much crap food

10. appreciate and enjoy every minute of college.

all in all, i cannot complain, really. i had a great experience, i made lifelong friends, i 'traveled' (chattanooga, virginia, connecticut, gatlinburg, lmao) with friends and had great times, i ended up with a fantastic job, i met my husband...it's all good in the end, right?

poor, poor paris...

i'm one of the first people to get on her soapbox when there is some sort of miscarriage of justice. really, i am. but i'm having a hard time feeling too much sympathy for paris in her latest publicity whore moment.

see, i know that it's wrong for someone to be punished more harshly because of who they are. i really do, but dammit, i also have to say that it's refreshing to see someone who is white, rich and famous actually have to take her punishment like anyone else would because newsflash: there are unfair sentences passed down every day across this country. it's one of the little 'glitches' in the legal system that we value so much. so, so sorry paris, that you get to be the whipping girl, but in the grand scheme of things 23 or 40 days is a damn sight better than a life sentence.

this is what happens when you try make your career out of being rich, famous, 'hot' and outrageous. you have to be prepared to pay for it. and she is. hopefully she'll come out of this or at least less visible.

procrastinator extroidonaire

i'm in absolute slug mode, which is condition normal, i have to admit. my house? a fricking wreck. my classroom? oy. it needs a separate post, but it was rained in again yesterday and i've got a pile of stuff to deal with. my van? must be cleaned.

and here i am, sitting on the couch, blogging.

i'm leaving for chattanooga/japser tomorrow right after work. i am spending two nights away from home. sam is going to spend the night with sil. this means clothing and such should be packed into some sort of recepticals. nothing is, of course. in fact, the gym bag i took with me last weekend? has yet to be unpacked.

i don't want to actually DO anything. must snap out of it--have lovely, visit with old friends, hang with my mom and aunt plans for wednesday-friday, but i'm guessing that wearing the same clothes all three days and not putting on any makeup or deodorant would probably mar those experiences somewhat.

am off. to pack. seriously. has to be done. am on it. right now. in a minute. just need to check my email......

and thus, we decorated

i do love anna--she's my little sister from sigma kappa back in college. i've not seen her in forever and a day. life, you know. but we met for dinner (I was really late because i seem to have this recurring problem with eastern time, whcih is rather foriegn to me) and then went for more drinks in the bar.

i need to drag out the old college photos for comparison, lol, but she hasn't changed a bit. me, well, i'm looking significantly more haggard and using three times the amount of eye makeup--seriously, wtf?

anna and me

we had a blast just talking and laughing (loudly) and remembering old times (Cary, I'm sure you remember the road trips to UTC and get this, my 'friend' that puked his guts up out the window of our apartment? the one that gave me the roses and the one that made me miss that sig kap ceremony, etc. well, he? is a freaking judge now--so i'm not about to post his name. a judge, lmao. it ain't easy bein' cheesy).

oh, and just because. for dinner, i had meatloaf (my favorite 'real' food), but since i loaded up on chips and jalepeno spinach cheese dip (yes, i, the person who loathes three of those four ingredients ate said dip), i didn't eat much. i got a to-go box for the rest because it seemed shameful to waste it; however, since we were still out and about, i had to put it in my purse. thankfully i have a large purse, but let me tell you folks. you know your frigging old when you're out at a bar and when you go to pay your tab you have to take meatloaf out of your purse. the leftovers:

i swear, this looked much better IRL, too, rather like my eye makeup did. not that my eye makeup resembled meatloaf, but in the fact that both suffered in the photo process.

yeah, i'm done. good night.

shaking it off

me? i'm going to go out and play pool with my little sister from college, anna. well, i'm not going to actually PLAY becuase I don't know how. anna says we will be decoration. i think i can handle that part.

have a great night, friends.

and some days?

i don't really feel like much at all. why is it that we can never stay on a 'happy' plane for very long? or at least, me?

life. it IS chock full of suck sometimes.

Some Days

I feel very, very special.

Thank you, Superman, Gothmog, TJ, Tink and Sally and anyone else who crawled out of the woodwork, either of free will or from peer pressure, the past couple of days. It was lovely to see you again.

*sigh*

I've Been Tagged--EIGHT RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME

from
jen


1. I've got the paperwork filled out to join the DAR should I ever choose to. Could also be in the Mayflower Society. Maybe when I'm older and have time to go to the meetings?

2. I've performed marriage ceremonies...three, I think. Can't remember exactly. I did them when I was a county commissioner, which is legal here in Tennessee.

3. I have bitten my fingernails as long as I can remember.

4. I cannot whistle. At all.

5. I've not had a carbonated beverage of any kind since September 2006. Don't plan on having one, either.

6. I think lima beans are the best beans. Could eat them every day.

7. The only "real" relationships that I had while I was in college were with guys that I knew from high school.

8. My best friend's husband is a defensive cooridinator/coach/something in the Canadin Football League.

I'm now tagging Puffy, Momma, and Tonya.

sleeeve wins

I posted myself on OT today for the first time ever. I had to sit and think about it for a long time before I did it because once upon a time, sleeeve and I had a bet (if you don't know sleeeve then this will be pointless--sorry). It came about in the bar one night when we were discussing age. His age was one of several deep dark secrets that he guarded fairly closely--such as his name, where he worked, etc. Anyway, somehow we came up with this bet where I told him that I could find out his full name and age before he could find a picture of me online. It sort of grew from there.

I took all pictures of me down everywhere that was even remotely public. He would try to trick me or other people into letting him win. He actually almost DID win one night when he hacked into my yahoo mail totally on accident while we were IM'ing. Because he has ethics and the like, he automatically signed out (I wish I still had the archive of that chat. It was hysterical when he realized that he had figured out my insanely easy password). If he'd just looked, there were a couple of emails sitting right there in the inbox from sheila labeled PICTURES or something like that. They were from a concert in Memphis we'd been to.

I never posted a picture of myself anywhere he could get it and all my friends who might have one were sworn to uphold the agreement. His solicitations on my blog requesting photos were never successful and I was equally unlucky in my quest, although I did get fairly close on some stuff thanks to my super-sleuthing skills, lmao.

And then he just disappeared on me. Gone. I'm not sure what happened--life, I'm sure. He had a girlfriend and there was a lot going on at work. We went from emailing frequently and chatting every weekend to once every couple of weeks to nothing. No idea what's going on with him or anything.

So, feeling very nostalgic and being absolutely immersed in photos from the past few days of school-related things with my seniors, I decided to just give him the win and post a picture. It was harder than I thought it would be, oddly enough. I'd put pics on my myspace for a few months, but that was pretty private. Putting one on OT just sort of sealed the deal. I guess I can post one here now, too. No sense in "hiding" anymore.



On the Tube in London with a student. Excuse the dire need for powder.

Video Not From My Playlist, But Good...

I'm not a huge fan of Pink---like her fine, love her no. I'm also not a huge fan of political songs as a genre, but this one got me.

The End is Near!!

One week from today I will be preparing to don a lovely black robe and try not to look bored as our little darlings participate in commencement. One week and one day from now, I will be kicked back on my couch drinking wine and reveling in the fact that I don't have to look at more little darlings for two whole months. One week and two days from now, I'll try to post something remotely interesting and potentially meaningful or at least current.

End of the year kicks my ass every stinking year.

Random Observations on a Saturday Night

1. Chardonnay is not my favorite wine. I don't really know what is--but this isn't. Zin is definitely better. Just not sure what my fave is.

2. Sam just asked me if it was okay if he made his Spiderman Halloween costume (the kind with the padded pecs) be his "slumber suit." How the hell do you possibly say no to that--not that I would, anyway, but there's no way now.

3. Silk feels really good on bare skin, even when it's cheap. I think I'm going to have to splurge on good silk as a treat one day.

4. I'm not even remotely interested in seeing Spiderman 3 or Pirates of the Caribbean 3. I've not seen any of the first four movies and these will be no different.

5. There is no five tonight. I'm just going to stop here because I can. Oh, wait, as a public service announcement, go read the Blog of Chris aka Supes. It's phenomonal as usual. Fanfare might make him post more often.

Random Songs From My Playlist #2

Thanks to a reminder by a friend, I think it's time to enjoy the hotness that is Maroon 5's Adam Levine and This Love. God, I love this video.

Best.Chorus.Ever

Just a lyric moment:

You're in my heart, you're in my soul

You'll be my breath should I grow old

You are my lover, you're my best friend

You're in my soul

I do love me some Rod Stewart.

Say Hello!!

To the spousal one, mr. kim, who alleges that he had no idea I had a new blog, much less a new domain. How he missed out on that fact is beyond me, but I'm a little vague sometimes, so perhaps it is all my fault (not frigging likely, but I'm open).

Mr. Kim does the laundry and cooks most of the meals in our house. Isn't that super-nice of him?

Belated

Intervieww questions will be sent soon. Been offline for a few days and only got one set done. Will finish this weekend.

Interview Me!

Questions for me from Sharon:

1. What's your favorite outfit that makes you feel good when you wear it?
At this particular moment it is a pair of Levi's, my Hard Rock London shirt and an Old Navy knit deep-vee neck (as in you have to wear something under it because it's so low cut) top over the t-shirt (the Hard Rock shirt is too tight to wear alone) and wedges.

2. List your five CDs you would take to a desert island.
Beatles One, Matchbox Twenty Yourself or Someone Like You, Dixie Chicks Fly, Killers Hot Fuss, Garth Brooks No Fences.

3. If you had to eat one food only for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Popcorn.

4. Describe the best way to spend a rainy day.
In bed and whatever that entails...books, naps, telly, hubby, kids, phone, laptop.

5. What's your biggest pet peeve?
Whiney children--my own or those of other people.

The rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick thequestions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone elsein the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them fivequestions

Berate

The word of the day is BERATE--to scold angrily. So, who would you like to berate? My list:

1. Blogrolling--WHY can I not see which blogs in my Blog Roll have been updated? This is how I keep up.

2. The weather--RAIN, dammit. I want some rain. Am tired of all this dry, dusty ickiness.

3. Bubblehead--Making teachers direct traffic with a homemade stop sign attached to a paint-stirring stick is just about the dumbest thing you've ever asked us to do and I am tired of it. Thank you for retiring.

4. Stupid people--Get the hell off the internet. You're just making it harder for those of us with the capactiy for rational thought and logical debate by forcing us to wade through your abject stupidity.

5. The fuckwit with the horn--Stop honking every time you drive by my house, moron. I don't care if you do see someone you know sitting on the porch across the street. You're wimpy, squeaky little "beep beep" is about to send me over the fricking edge.

Accent? What Accent?

I'm home from London--great trip, btw. I'll update that later over there, but do have one tidbit to share here. One of my favorite little chains to grab a sandwich, Eat, will heat sandwiches for you. You order, ask for your stuff heated and then they write your name on your bag and call you when it's ready.

The cashier asked me my name, and I said, "Kim." She was Asian and spoke with a fairly strong accent and looked at me a bit confused. I repeated, "Kim". She looked at me for a second or so, then nodded and wrote my name on the bag and fixed the sandwich (ham and cheese with mustard on ciabatta...yum yum, but don't eat it cold because it sucks that way). When the food was ready, I took my bag and went to sit down. It wasn't until I was pulling the food out that I saw how my name was spelled and laughed out loud. Muchly. My name as interpreted phonetically by the server? Kiam. Methinks perhaps I have more of an accent than I think.

Fashion

I'm not really sure about clothing these days--I've had trouble finding stuff that I like and that doesn't look as if it were made for a teenager, so I'm much more aware of clothes lately than I had been in the past. So, here in London, it's been rather amusing to see the fashion choices that people make. I know that London is supposed to be on the cutting edge of fashion and trends and about two years ahead of the U.S. in that regard, but honestly, I fail to see anything that great here. I'm going to try to check out TopShop and H&M to look around, but the stuff on the streets has by and large been heinous.

Naturally, since it is London, there are a fair amount of tourists, so I do try to keep their unfortunate appearances from clouding my opinion of Londoners. Some of the more, um, special, tourist moments thus far:

1. a woman who had to be at least my age, maybe older, wearing a wee denim mini--a good six inches above her knee--with leggings. If you are old enough to have worn leggings the first time, then you are too old to be wearing them this time, at least with a mini-skirt, however I could have even forgiven her that had she not been wearing that mini-skirt in about a size 18 or so, which made it look like she had a giant denim box wrapped around her body and, far worse, she had on a very form-fitting tee (I hesitate to say baby tee because I think this one was just a regular tee stretched to the limit) that was one.inch.too.short. There was visible fat roll peeking out from the top of the skirt--actually protruding is more like it. It was just horrid.

2. Loads upon loads of white boots. I think every European in the UK is wearing some form of atrocious white ankle (or just a bit higher) boots.

3. a backless halter with a skirty bottom on another person over the age of 20 and over 140 pounds.

4. fishnets with some sort of patterned hose under them. I thought it was leg hair at first.

5. shiny things. Lots of silver belts, gold hairclips, and other accessories all with fake shiny finishes.

We're headed to Covent Garden today, so there should be a boatload of other fashion crimes to witness.

cary from ut, not cary from ot....

go read my london blog. you'll think i'm insane. its in the blogroll.

Random Songs From My Playlist #1

inspired by HD and his # photos :-).

I do love All American Rejects.

Dirty Little Secret

Good Friends, Sappy Post

I've been thinking a lot this weekend and it has dawned on me that I am blessed to have a multitude of fantastic friends in all facets of my world. I don't really appreciate it nearly enough most of the time--I just take it for granted, and I shouldn't. I have a tendency to overlook those friends who are from a long time ago or those who aren't "real" people, just online sometimes, and that's bad because no matter how little I see them, they are still friends and I am one of the absolute luckiest people alive in the friend department.

• Friends who will take my kids to and from school.
• Friends who will cover my classes for me.
• Friends who will let me show up and spend the night with them without much warning.
• Friends who will ride around aimlessly just to cruise and talk.
• Friends who share hashbrown casserole with me.
• Friends who correct my grammar and spelling when needed.
• Friends who appreciate geeky grammar and literature moments as much as I do.
• Friends who cheer with me when the evil bookkeeper and Bubblehead leave school.
• Friends who will sit and shred dumb people mercilessly.
• Friends who will banter back and forth in a thread about nothing for 100 posts just because.
• Friends who cheer on my most mundane accomplishment.
• Friends who drink with me.
• Friends who sit in the rain with me and drink.
• Friends who get the inside jokes and appreciate them.
• Friends who know exactly the right things to say to me, whether it's, "You're right" or "You're crazy" or "Damn it, Kim".
• Friends who appreciate good hair days.
• Friends who share their lunch with me.
• Friends who have known me forever and still like me.
• Friends who loathe stupid people as much as I do.
• Friends who share their good concert seats with me.
• Friends who can pick up conversation after years like we saw each other yesterday.
• Friends who worry about me more than I worry about myself.
• Friends who get more excited for me over events in my life than I ever could.
• Freinds who get frustrated with me, but still come back.
• Friends who lend me clothes.
• Friends who never say, "I told you so", even when it's due.
• Friends who teach me things.
• Friends who debate with me.
• Friends who make me think.
• Friends who have changed my view of the world.
• Friends who can keep secrets.
• Friends who entertain me.
• Friends who amuse me.
• Friends who inspire me.
• Friends who read my endless, blabby chatter here and other places.

Friends whom I love. Dearly.

Smart, Cool, Hip, Fun People

What do they have in common? They all have blogs. If you don't have one, you must get one. Seriously. All the cool kids are doing it.

Oh, and then go get a myspace so I can have more friends.

Religious Preference

• I do not like it when folks clap and wave their arms in church.
  
• I do not like it when folks shout out "amen" and cheer in church.
  
• I do not like it when hymns turn into jazz numbers.
  
• I do not like it when I have to watch a powerpoint/media presentation for the message.
  
• I do not like it when there are glaring, terrible comma errors in said presentations.
  
• I do not like it when there is a fricking hard-sell, join-Jesus commercial at the end of church.
  
• I do not like it when I feel as if I am in a new scene from The Blues Brothers at church.
  
• I do not like it when I go to the Southern Baptist Church.
  
  Happy Easter.

Just A Reminder Of My Age

I've mentioned it before, but good gods. I stayed up until 1.30 last night (after drinking copious amounts of wine AND eating Krystals at midnight, heaven help me) and slept like the dead until 8.30, but I am still almost comatose from "lack of sleep". This aging thing sucks more and more. How on earth do, ahem, mature adults become functioning alcoholics? I need two days of sleep to recover from one night of drinking. Ridiculous.

Wal Marts Are Curious Places

It matters not where one goes to Wal Mart, one will always run into someone one knows. I saw two friends from high school in less than 45 minutes of Wal Marting.

If You Publish, It Is Visible

For some reason, I keep hitting Save As Draft when I'm trying to blog. Then I'm all surprised when I go to a blog and there is nothing new there. Meanwhile, drafts sit in the dashboard thing, just waiting to see the light of day. I never had this happen in the past. Just recently. So, FYI, hit PUBLISH when you want something to be seen. Otherwise, you're just spinning your blogging tires.

Have I mentioned that I loathe the new Blogger this week?

How Did You Wake Up Today?

I was pulled from a very sound sleep by Jay yelling every mother's favorite words: MOM, I PUKED!

Thinking back, I actually think I heard Jay puke, but I wasn't awake enough to process it. When he screeched his announcement, though, I was suddenly wide awake. I ran to his room to see him kneeling on his top bunk and a big puke puddle visible. He was sort of frantic and I couldn't get him to focus on getting down-he just said he felt weird. He's way too big for me to pick up and pull off the bunk, so he sat there for a few seconds, shaking his head. And then...

More puking.

All over his bed again. And I saw it. Lovely. And he woke Sam up. He felt instantly better, though, and somehow I got the sheet off the corner and he was able to start climbing down. Sam yelped from the bottom bunk that puke had dripped on his head. Moved him to the other end of his bed and worked on getting the sheet off, Jay moved, etc. Jay felt fine after the vomit. No troubles. Rinsed his mouth and I went about setting him up in my bed.

Once he was in, I realized I'd left the light on in their room, so I went to turn it off. Sam was awake and staring at the doorway. I asked him what was wrong. He said, "I can hear puke dripping down on my bed and it is freaking me out." Pleasant. I didn't see it, but sent him on to my bed, too. He got up between W. and Jay and I set about changing my clothes so I could take up residence on the couch. I had the bathroom door closed, when I heard W. yell, "Open the door!" I threw it open and made room for Jay, only to see Sam whizzing in and hanging over the toilet. About the time Jay said, "He's just faking", Sam unleashed.

More puking.

The volume was incredible considering the child only ate one slice of pizza and drank maybe one glass of milk. I was rather dumbfounded. I was also very proud. Sam is such a good puker; there was barely any mess on the toilet. I've trained him well. Once he was done, he rinsed and wiped and declared himself better.

So now, 45 minutes and three pukes later, I'm lying on the couch and W. and the two spewers are back in my room sleeping, hopefully. They both ate meatlovers pizza from Papa John's for dinner last night. As I left the room, I asked W. if he ate any of theirs. He didn't answer. It dawned on me when I settled in that I did eat the toppings off of one piece. Am hopeful that my rapid digestive system has somehow been spared--I think I would have already been sick by now, surely. Hopefully.

Inspired By Buggy

Dear Buggy has finally surfaced online just as I was about to start worrying about her again. She had a good idea, so here goes:

Things You* Don't Know About Me:

*you meaning most of you--I can't really keep everything straight from all my circles of friends and such

1. I have lost a ton of weight over the past several months. I have more to go...not much, but enough that I am obsessive about it.
2. Because of the fat thing, I haven't worn my wedding rings in years. Am wearing my solitare as I type right now. It's still a wee bit tight, but it is on, which is more than it would have done this time last year.
3. I can wiggle my ears.
4. My first "serious" (interpret that as you may) boyfriend was two years younger than me. I was 16 at the time. That means he was only a wee bit older than my oldest child is now. I am horrified at the idea of him dating someone so much older.
5. I could easily go the rest of my life without exercising and not feel the slightest bit guilty, but I'd get fat again, so no go.
6. I can eat the same thing for every meal for days on end.
7. I hate to cook.
8. I cannot spell worth a damn.
9. I am terrible about keeping in touch with old friends. Simply terrible.
10. I miss the old goofy threads from OT with Buggy, pooh, Dweeze, Fester, landrua, sami, misto and Co. I'm old. Old. Old. Old.

Rejoice!

I have found the remote. As I ranted yesterday, I was most likely sitting on the damn thing. It was ever-so-trickily wedged under two cushions, so when I looked under one, it was masked by the other. When I finally dragged both cushions off at the same time, there it was. Innocently lying there amongst the crumbs and small toys.

I am most pleased--now I can watch The Tudors, which I recorded last night, today.

Request

If you have any fucking idea where the fucking remote to my ficking DVR/cable is, could you please fucking tell me where the fuck I might look because I've fucking turned the fucking sunroom the fuck upside down and I can't fucking find the fucker anyfuckingwhere. Needless to say, I'm fucking pissed because I just had it in my own fucking hand last night when I fucking recorded Mean Girls to fucking watch tofuckingday and now I can't because the fucker has disappeared into the fucking black hole that is our fucking mess of a fucking house.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Kim in London Redux

I'm not even close to being ready to go to London in about ten days--I'm a loser--BUT, I did dust off my London blog and post something, so the pre-trip festivities can begin. It's over at Kim in London. I guess I could move that to my own server. Maybe after I take a nap. Spring Break has officially started and I think I need to take a little rest.

SPRING BREAK MAKES ME VERY, VERY, VERY HAPPY!

Slacker Kimmah

I've gotten rather lax on the blogging thing lately. Not exactly sure why--I just can't seem to focus long enough to type something out that makes sense. Probably because things in real life are rather hectic. My list:

1. School--spring break is upon us and that means that kids are in antsy mode. It's always fun to try and pound sentence structure and comma splices into the heads of vacation-minded 15-year-old boys.

2. School pt. 2--it has suddenly turned into summer, despite the impending SPRING break and we've been treated to high temps ranging from 82-88 this week. Sounds great? Well, it might if we were in an air conditioned building during the day. As we are not, it is like some form of torture. There has been no discernible breeze, no relief of any kind from my ancient fan, and no hint of artifical coolant. My room is on the west side of the building with 6-foot windows to let in loads and loads of blistering heat just in time for my class of 35 juniors and seniors. Sweltering doesn't even come close to describing it--actually, if we could just swelter, we'd be happy.

3. School pt. 3--because it's the end of the year and I teach seniors, it's also field trip time. Normally this happens in April-May, but we've started early this year. The new quarter started March 9. Since that day, I have not yet had all of my students in my 4th block Theatre Arts class (the one with 35 kids) at school and in class at the same time. Not one day. My attendance book looks like some sort of weird modern heiroglyphics with all the absents, tardies, field trips, doctor's notes and other sundry markings. It's a nightmare. Today was our last day of class because we have an assembly tomorrow. On the day before Spring Break. Good thing I don't give grades on written work in there or I'd never get the make-ups done.

4. School pt. 4--I'm on the retirement-party-planning committees for TWO different teachers this spring. I've also agreed to plan a little something for another teacher's 50th birthday on Friday. I also have to sort out three days' worth of lesson plans before I leave on Friday. I also have to clean off my desk. I also have to turn in my grade verifications. I also have to stay at school until seven again tomorrow night for inservice and then spend all day Friday in meetings that are stupid and boring and useless to anything that I do for a living.

5. Vacation--I leave for London on April 9. Wooohooo! That's a good thing. I'll be back on April 19.

6. Vacation pt. 2--Before I leave I have to pack up clothes for the kids to take to my parents' house for a week. I also need to clean my house because it is gross.

7. Vacation pt. 3--I haven't even thought about starting to pack for myself yet and I don't have any decent walking shoes. Oh, and London is insane expensive and I have not saved one penny toward spending money. Not one red cent.

8. Life in general--all I seem to have time for is wake up, work, home to eat, Y, home to put kids to bed, read online for an hour, go to bed. Something has to give.

9. Stupid things--oh, I also have time to go to the tanning bed. Skin cancer is a terrible thing and some day I'm going to really be pissed off at myself; however, I have no plans to quit going until I am suitably browned. I usually don't mind being fashionably pale, but for some reason this year, it has bugged me. Maybe because summer started in March.

10. Pets--we have a chick named Austin. Sam brought it home from school--they kept eggs in an incubator. If Austin survives chickhood, it will be a miracle. A bloody miracle. Sam has picked him up two dozen times a day, he's carried him around the house and he's taken him out to play in the front yard. Poor Austin has been a trooper through it al. I'll be most relieved when he goes to live at the farm--which shouldn't be much longer because he's got an incredible vertical jump and he's going to leap out of his box any minute. He bangs his head on the books we have covering him for every so often.

I think that's it for now. I'm going to attempt to catch up on blog reading. I don't have much faith that I will get far, though.

You Should Know

I've spent my Sunday watching E!. This includes, but it not limited to True Hollywood Story: Mean Girls (I've never seen this movie), Hip Hop Wives, Talk Soup and now, Rock Star Daughters. I think I can feel my brain solidifying even as I type.

What I should be doing is cleaning my house and sorting out winter vs. summer clothes. Naturally, I am not. Well, I am a little bit, but not very much. My goal is to have all the clean clothes put away by bedtime. Anything over that will be domestic gravy.

You Know It's a Bad Day

I don't think I am overstating things one iota when I say that when an 8th-grade boy with some special ed tendancies comes up to you and says, "Hey, Mrs. W., how are you? Your hair looks really bad today. It's sort of sticking up all over the sides", that you are, in fact, having a really bad hair day.

Soon after, I called and made my hair appointment for Saturday.

Ack! Chlorine!!

My eyes are suddenly a chlorinated mess. Been doing pool stuff since January and tonight it feels as if I bathed in acid. Waaaaaahhhhhh!

Why Do Stupid People Always Become Teachers?

They just HAVE to go and make the rest of us look bad and I'm getting tired of it...

Teacher Causes Furor With Sex Ed Lessons

Basically, this guy was teaching MIDDLE SCHOOL and thought it was a good idea to have the STUDENTS read graphic details about oral sex and masturbation. In class. With girls. And then he tried to claim it was part of the human sexuality curriculum. Nice try, moron.

I'm all for sex ed--honestly? I like the idea of a neutral third party giving my boys the basics because then I don't have to--I'm a a pretty typical parent in that regard. But I think we can all agree that there is a fine, fine line in teaching that subject matter and while one would expect the teacher to address all forms of sex and inform students of the basics, I don't think anyone in their right mind would think it was a good idea to have 13-year-old girls read aloud about such matters with a male teacher in class in public school. *boggle*

Yet another looney teacher that brings more unwanted attention to the profession. Wonder if he's too old for Pamela Rogers Turner? Maybe they could hook up and open up a charter school together somewhere.

Apropos

I think we can all think of at least a dozen folks online that this definition can be applied to. Some of us can find most of a message board filled with them.

Old Friends, Good Times...

I spent more than three hours at Chilis today and had the best time I've had in a long, long time Met up with four friends from elementary/high school for the first time in years. They all live in or around our hometown, so they see each other from time to time, but as a group, we've not hung out in at least 15 years, maybe more

It was like time had stood still in so many ways--we still make each other laugh over the dumbest things imaginable--goofy nicknames, silly stories, faces, whatever--and are able to laugh at ourselves in the process.

Not living anywhere near the people whom I grew up with, I forget the good times (and the bad, for that matter) from the past. It was so nice to be able to flashback for a little while and just hang out with those who knew me when I had a mad crush on Kevin from Spanish or who remember going to birthday parties at the skating rink or wearing horrible jeans or being threated by the scary lunch girls.

Ah, the memories.

Stolen from Arkie

a random list-what do the following words make me think of:

Nude :: lipstick
Support :: underwire
Rachel:: nothing whatsoever
Crane :: Frasier
Candy bar :: Chocolate
Material :: Girl
Mind games :: Shall We Play A Game?
Eviction :: Money
Produce :: Market
Joke :: GWB

Happy Birthday to Me...

It's been a strange day, this, my 38th birthday. Good God, that looks really old. Anyway, my morning started off fairly well--got up on time, was ready for work early, no rush. Nice. Then I get to school and the first thing up is an exam for my British Lit class. One of the students happend to come up to me just before the class started and ask me a question about a worksheet that she had. At first I answered her without really thinking, then it dawned on me--the sheet she was showing me was an old copy of the exam. WHAT THE HELL? After a couple of questions, I quickly discovered that no student foul-play had occurred. What HAD occurred?

Tuesday, my sub gave the students my old copy of the exam as a freaking study sheet.

Yes, they had the first FIFTY questions from the exam to look at for two damn days and memorize--it was all matching. I could have spit nails. This meant that I had to create a new fifty questions for them super-fast. Lovely. I frantically did it while they were in the library and managed to cobble together something that they could use. Naturally there were some mistakes and I ended up kicking out one page of it mid-test. Eventually, I deduced that I had left the papers with the study sheets and she somehow thought that I hadn't gotten copies made for them. Whatever. It worked out.

The restof the day was okay---I had a dozen chatty freshmen girls at the end of the day and they nearly drove me to pull my hair out, but other than that, it was okay.

Until I realized that I'd lost my cell phone. Fuck.

Off to Wal Mart to see if I could get a new phone. They only had two models--one of which was the sucktastic one I have--and both were over $200. Uh, no fricking way. I'll keep looking and deal with the crappy phone for that kind of money.

While at Wal Mart, though, I found some cute t-shirts, so I treated myself, and I also stopped by the hair place to get a travel sized TIGI Maxxed Out hairspray. I'd seen it the other day, so I decided to get it. The problem was, there wasn't a price on it. I asked about it and he clerk said that it must have been part of a gift set. Then she noticed that the nozzle was missing, too. This was actually in my favor because she realized that they couldn't sell it, so she gave it to me. For free. Wooohoooo!

Then I went back to school to try and find my phone and I'll be damned if my alarm code didn't work. Fanfuckingtastic. I hauled ass out of the building and went home to call our school resource officer and let him know that I might have set it off. He informed me that our codes had all been modified. Well, it would have been nice if someone had told me.

So, as of right now, I sit here with highlights on my hair, watching Survivor on DVR while everyone else is asleep. No phone, but I do have free hairspray, so I suppose all is well in my world.

Random Nonscientifc Internet Quiz, Etc.

Courtesy of Sasha:

What kind of extremist are you? Your Result: Rational Person You consider these questions obvious straw men, designed to distract people from a meaningful investigation of facts and a serious discussion of relevant political issues. How boring.
Left-Wing Extremist
Moderate Extremist
Right-Wing Extremist
What kind of extremist are you? Make a Quiz

Yeah, I don't even really know what this means--I think I need sleep. Speaking of things I don't really grasp, I will confess here and now that I had absolutely no frigging clue that guiddity was a word. Furthermore, I would have thought that it was one of those fake, made-up, Harry Potteresque kind of words. Who knew? The most insipidly easy Word of the Day generator actually taught me something. I guess that speaks volumes about me, doesn't it?

Y, Y, Y!

Why do people not control their wild-ass children in the pool at the Y?

Why do people let their children roam free around said Y pool?

Why do people let their children scream incessantly in the same pool?

Why did a young, unattended child feel the need to sit on the edge of the hot tub and talk to me non-stop for five minutes?

Why did a man choose a swimsuit that looks like boxershorts minus the fly?

Why did the previously mentioned man kneel on the bench in the hot tub suspiciously close to one of the jets and remain there for several minutes?

Why can I not manage to put my hair up in a manner that will keep it from getting soaked in overly-chlorinated water?

Why did I think it was a good idea to try to run with my knees coming up out of 3.5 foot water for several minutes?

Why can't the yucky arm-flappy stuff under arms disappear when one diets?

Why am I freakishly obsessed with water aerobics all of a sudden?

WH

Virago

That's the word of the day according the world's most insipid Word of the Day generator on the right over there. Seriously, the first three or four words that it generated were just insanely easy--germane, potentate, effusive and hoary come to mind--but I'm too lazy to remove it, plus I thought there might eventually be a good word or two, so I left it.

And today's word entertains me (I should have read my own blog before I posted the other thing below, eh?).

How appropriate, nay, I'll say GERMANE to this blog that virago means:
A large, strong, courageous or aggressive woman.

I need to incorporate that into my blog description, don't you think? Maybe edit it a bit and leave out the large part because, well, that's not so flattering really, no matter how true.

Yaaawwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

I bore me today. Is there anything interesting that I should be watching or reading or doing right now?

The Most Boring Oscars in Recent History

Some of my faves (there aren't many)
Cameron Diaz--super-tight white gown with an interesting neckline. It was slightly shorter in the front that the back, which I am generally opposed to as it is the mullet of dresses. It was quite flattering to her figure...her ass looked amazing. Not wild about the style of her hair, but the color really worked.

Reese Witherspoon--She wins. She looked smokin' hot with her long, straight hair (which I normally don't like and find too informal for nights like this) and a kick-ass full length plum--vargating colors in the layers--this picture does not do justice to the shade. It's stunning. The dress that had assymetrical layers in the skirt and made her ass look awesome, too. She was totally, 100% hot.


Jodie Foster--blue, halter neck dress that really made her face look bright and youthful. Her hair was really cute, too.

Kinki Rink--or whatever her name is. Why is she suddenly a style icon? One good movie and she's everywhere. She looked very elegant and chic tonight (a far cry from that unfortunate Chanel pom pom gown)


Celine Dion--very flattering in dark green with a diamond accent on the hip. She looked better than she has in a long time.

Nicole Kidman--tres elegant in that dress, although W. said it looked like she had a thighmaster on her shoulder. I'm not crazy about Naomi Watts' dress, but she gets a pass since she's preggo.


Maggie Gyllenhall--very, very pretty in black with a one-shoulder thingy. She didn't look nearly as moon-faced as she usually does.

Cate Blanchett--she was my second fave of the night, I think. Classic.


Sucktitude in Varying Degrees (many more)

Meryl Streep looked like a hippie/gypsy.

Penelope Cruz--I'll be the only one, I'm sure, but I thought her dress looked ickishly like picked and pulled terry cloth and her hair and makeup were just blah. Skintight bun, sallow color and not enough eye makeup.


Gwenyth Paltrow--I loved her hair--it was much better than it's been in a long, long time, but her dress was just not my cup o' tea. Weird, unflattering color and strange cape-like sheering.


Jennifer Hudson--wow, is she going to regret this choice when she looks back on her career. Biggest night of her life and she looks like she arrived on the Enterprise. There are spaghetti straps under that jacket and Jennifer, like yours truly, should NOT wear spaghetti straps.


Jennifer Lopez--I can already hear the raves she is going to get on fashion shows, but unless trying to look like a dowdy, hippy, 45-year-old was her goal? She missed in my book:


Jessica Biel--color looks bad on t.v.--could be the fabric? Her hair looks like mine when I get in humidity and it starts to frizz on me. The dress didn't look as if it fit anywhere--her boobs hung out the sides and not in a good way.


Racehl Weisz--Eh. boring and it looks like she's about to fall out. The train is waaay busy and that chandelier around her neck is just fugly.


beyonce--Color--okay. Style--get over the hi-cut leg. Shoulder thing? Truly baffling. It's like a rhinestone snake is coming down to attack her midriff. Or is it a pageeant sash?


Kirsten Dunst--UGLIEST DRESS OF THE NIGHT, but I like her with bangs.


Anne Hathaway--haute coutre cater waiter in a gown:

Oscar Night!

I love the Oscars. I love to watch the fashions, I love to listen to the sappy speeches, I live to trash the hair and makeup and clothes. I've been sitting here for I don't know how long watching the pre-show--Ryan Seacrest is entertaining me right now. I shall be back with my picks for the good, the bad and the oh-so-very-ugly.

Random Thoughts

Too scattered to post on one topic:

1. Britney--I'll be writing you another letter, but for now, child, please be safe and don't eat a handful of Xanax or Valium. I swear, I don't think I could mentally survive another AnnaNicolesque macabre post-mortem DAWing. Oh, and for the love of God and all that is holy, when you get out of rehabd, buy a fucking wig that doesn't look like something I could buy in the clearance bin at Dollar Mart with the lavender lipstick and the red plastic earrings. And lose the brolly. It's bad for the image.

2. Just because one attends water aerobics class that is popular with the senior set, one should not assume it will be an "easy" workout. Trust me and my calves.

3. IT IS SUPPOSED TO SNOW IN FEBRUARY, DAMMIT! WHERE IS MY SNOW?

4. If you have not had a Special K Protein Bar in chocolate peanut butter, then you have missed out on a 10g treat. Yum. Yum. If you are my husband, you have now tried them, so stay away from them.

5. If it was possible to live off said bars and popcorn, then I would be the single happiest person on Earth.

6. I've been messages by some freaks on Myspace. If you have a young daughter, please do not let her have an account.

7. It dawned on me that my oldest child will soon be 14. How is this possible? I am not old enough to have a child that is 14. That's not a little kid anymore. Ugh.

8. Why is it that I am the only chick in the United States that cannot pull off the straight hair look, no matter how hard I try? All I can think of is cheap wig every time I try it. I will say that even then, my hair is miles better than that polyester shit that Britney is sporting.

9. I do love me some Tarte Cheek Stain. That stuff rocks--even if it is stupid expensive for blush. Tipsy is my shade of late.

10. Tyra needs to step away from the hot rollers. Just step away, girlfriend.

Myspace?

Do you have one? Am I on your friend list? If not, why the hell not? I'm a very entertaining and likeable person. I don't smell. I don't do embarassing things out in public very often, but that doesn't even matter since we won't actually be together in that sense. My avatar is just blurry enough to make me look sort of mysterious, which was totally by accident becuase I'm not so hot with the photo-manipulation tools. In all, I think I should be your friend. I expect to see loads of invites pouring into my inbox soon...wow, that sounds so incredibly pornographic. How can you possibly resist my literary brilliance and heart-wrenching pleas?

Get thee to Myspace and create a profile if you haven't already. All the cool kids, like HD, JV, Wheezah, Femme and the like have done it. You can, too! You can click here to see my profile. Then just click on add friend and voila! The process is underway.

Bored, Bored, Bored!

I'm sitting here on my substantial posterior doing absolutley nothing today. W. is on a trip for the weekend, so it's just me and the boys. Well, not all of them--Five went to a church retreat last night and won't be home until Sunday, so it's just me and the little guys, but only until 4:00. At 4:00, they'll both be leaving--one to spend the night with MIL and the other to go to a Predators game, so it will be just me, myself and I for six or seven hours.

For some reason, perhapsin part because I'm just giddy at the prospect of being all alone this evening, I've been rendered immobile because I cannot seem to get up and do diddly today. It isn't the engaging content on the internet that's distracting me because I appear to be one of five people online today. It's not the television programming because right now its one of Court TVs true-crime shows and I have no clue what's going on. It isn't a lack of sleep because I went to bed at 10 and didn't wake until 8. I suppose it can only be one thing--I'm a lazy slug. *sigh*

Eventually I'm going to have to drag myself from my bed and supervise the showering and dressing of the two kiddos and make myself presentable. Then, I'll drop them where they need to be and proceed to my favorite steak place and get something takeout for dinner ( steak and chicken combo that is to die for...rib-eye and marinated chicken breast, both of which just melt in your mouth), eat in front of something on my DVR backlog, and at 7, treat myself to the movies-Music and Lyrics. I really SHOULD be cleaning something, sorting something or doing sme sort of household improvements or at the very least going to the Y and using some sort of equipment, but that just seems so very daunting right now. I really am a lazy slug, it seems.

I Watched the Grammys

I'm a bitch about fashion and hair even though I really have no basis for making any statements about such things. I watch all the award shows and critique the appearance of those famous people because it's my way of living the high life without shopping anywhere more exotic than Target and Old Navy.

After the shows, I then sit through the countless fashion review shows and columns because I'm just that pathetic. So, as I've read and watched, I've been shocked and dismayed that no one has called Christina Aguilera to the red carpet for her horrific choices in hair and makeup:



Girl looks like she needs to wash her dirrty face and that hair? OMG, her hair. Who on earth does this girl's hair? She has GRAY roots. Gray. Who in the world strives to have gray roots? And then lets them be visible for photos and television coverage? It boggles my mind. She's trying to be all galm, forties, pin-up, but she looks like a characature and I do not mean that in any sort of good way.

Her Ungaro dress? Eh, pretty enough, but until she takes control of her hair and face she's dead to me.

I? Am Spartacus.

You know, while I have some pretty strong political views, opinions and brain farts, I don't normally blog them since I'm not so much about the serious. However, once again, I'll just throw something out in support of someone who was essentially told to shut the fuck up by those who can't handle disagreement, dissention or intelligent discussion. Suddenly, my blog has a theme all on one page--how handy that there is a little theme song plugged in. Please enjoy this multi-media experience for free on me while you consider the fact threatening someone who challenges your way of thinking with violence is just inexcusably pansy-assed and reprehensible. If your ideas are strong enough to believe in, then they should damn well be strong enough to stand on their own merit and be defended through intelligent dialogue and thoughtful debate. You shouldn't have to resort to whipping a bunch of zealots and media whores into a flame-frenzy or stoop to suggestions of violence or personal harm. That, my dears, is nothing short of pathetic.

For more information and backstory, check out Driftglass, or Cenk Uygur at The Huffington Post, or check out the oh-so-evil blog itself over at Shakespeare's Sister. Oh, but be careful! You might actually have to think for yourself or have an opinion other than that of some blabberhead on Faux News. Eeeek

Best.Damn.Song.Ever.

Congrats to The Dixie Chicks for winning:
Song of the Year
Record of the Year
Country Album of the Year
Country Song by a Duo or Group
Album of the Year

tonight at the Grammys. I don't usually care if a song has a message or a point or meaning, but this one does and it gets me every time I listen to it. Kudos to them for recording the best fuck-you-idiots anthem in the history of music and for not backing down on their opinions. Everyone is entitled to speak her mind, whether folks agree or not and to suggest that they should be arrested, maimed, killed, etc. is just beyond insane. It's a sad commentary on myriad things that are wrong with the thought-police mentality that has swept through this country lately--this Stepfordian attitude that we must all look, act, think and love just alike or else we're not only wrong, but we're unAmerican, terrorists or devil worshipers. Enough.

It's a sad, sad story

That a mother will teach her daughter

that she ought to hate a perfect stranger.

And how in the world

Can the words that I said

Send somebody so over the edge

That they'd write me a letter

Saying that I better shut up and sing

Or my life will be over

Damn straight. Sing it, girls. Sing it loud. Not everyone that listens to country music or lives in a red state thinks that opinions in women are somehow offensive.

VIDEO REMOVED BECAUSE THE MUSIC WAS NONSTOP.