Be Careful What You Wish For

In theory, being told to go home and sleep for three days sounds good, right? Yeah, well in practice it's not so much fun.

I have a mystery illness. Some sort of virus that makes me ridiculously tired (as in I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room and am afraid to close my eyes at red lights) has been making my life hell for weeks. It got to the point that I went in early this month and asked for a battery of blood tests because I just knew I had some dread form of anemia that was doing this. I don't. Despite eating almost nothing with substantial iron and avoiding iron supplements like the plague because of side effects, I am not anemic at all. My B vitamin levels are also fine. I still felt like hell.

Went back in last week and asked for more tests because I was still tired and had also developed a weird red rash--like little pin pricks--on my legs. He guessed it was probably some virus that would run its course in 7-10 days. He did a full blood count to check for the basics and those results also showed no problem. Meanwhile, I spent the weekend in bed, barely able to get up and do anything. The doctor had given me a scip for Wellbutrin because we thought maybe it was depression.

I was almost at my wits' end Mondaywhen I got official word that my test results were all normal again --I took off work and went BACK to the doctor Tuesday. This time I saw the nurse practitioner and she asked me a zillion questions, checked the rash, which has increased on my shins, but not spread past my legs yet. She ordered another round of bloodwork--8 vials--checking for everything under the sun from mono (the most obvious) to parvo (I thought this was a dog disease?) to Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever (no tick bites that I'm aware of) to lupus (btdt with the testing and it was negative the last time, but that was about five years ago). She told me that I could take off the rest of the week and just sleep. Sleep will do as much as anything else to help me recover and getting overly tired will just make it worse.

So yesterday I slept like the dead for three hours in the middle of the day. I only woke up because I had to go pick up the kids. Today I'm at home alone and the thought of just hanging out in bed all day is a little depressing. There is only so much to look at on the internet and television during the day sort of sucks. I'm sure that by 10 I'll be sound asleep, of course because I'm yawning right now. I absolutely must go to the grocery store today. Sadly, that is the highlight of my day and if I don't sleep before I go, I'll be throwing weird things in my basket. Last night I went to just get some must-haves, namely bread, and came home with milk, cheese, bagels, juice bisquick, and totally forgot to get the bread. Ugh.

Yeah, I know--poor Kim. Stay in bed for three days and sleep, watch tv and play online. But seriously, it's not nearly as much fun as I thought it would be.

I Am Not Sick Now

Well, I have a nagging on-again, off-again earache/headache, but I'm otherwise okay healthwise. Now I'm just paralyzed with a severe case of the lazy. Tomorrow is the beginning of the end of the lazy--I have a load of stuff to do next week including working, hauling kids to the orthodontist, basketball camp and weightlifting class, finding spring clothes, putting up most of the long sleeves, packing to go out of town and cleaning up the worst parts of my house. I'm glad it's Spring Break, but I'm going to need a vacation from my vacation.

I Am Sick

Hellishly sick. I had to go to a thing for work today and it was pure misery. We're working on this online thing that it too tedious to go into detail about, but requires using the most assbackwards, poorly designed software to 'build' courseware for students to use online. Seriously, it's unreal how low tech this is--and it's the new rollout. If there is a list of 10 lessons and you only want one of them? You must delete the other nine one.at.a.time. The screen must refresh in between. Painful. And if you want to make item number 10 the first item? You must move it up the list one.at.a.time. The screen must refresh each time. Still painful. How the fuck myspace or snapfish can use drag and drop technology, but Plato can't is beyond me. It's ridiculous.

So anyway, after tediously creating senior English courses, I needed to go back and edit one of them because I finally unearthed the damn basic literature information which was hidden in a file called "Misellaneous Language Arts Resources". Wellllllllllllll, I managed to delete the damn course instead of just unpublish it. At that point, I knew that I was done. Sitting in a computer lab that had no air circulation with a fever in an uncomfortable chair using a keyboard that didn't have the little feet to tilt it and the slowest internet connection on earth while reaching for a Kleenex every five minutes, I had enough.

So I left. Very brazen of me, actually, because it was only 1.30 and the school day doesn't end until 3:15 on an 8:00 start time. I waited until a couple of other people left first. I tried to find the man in charge--the supervisor of secondary ed.--but he was nowhere to be found, so I made a professional decision and went home. The funny thing is that in most any professional career in the world, if you're sick and need to go home, you can just go. Teaching, though, is a different ballgame. We're used to 22 minute lunches and being ruled by a bell. It was very strange to just be able to LEAVE. I felt guilty, actually, but not guilty enough to stick around. By 2:00, I was in my bed with a bottle of Tylenol at my side. I've been here pretty much all night save for a trip to take W. to work and then to buy a thermomenter at Walgreens (I can't find either of the two that I know we have somewhere) and to McD's drive thru for good homecooking for the two youngest boys.

I just realized I have no idea what the point of this was. I think perhaps maybe it's time for me to make another professional decision and go to bed. Or at least quit blogging while I'm still forming something resembling sentences. I have to go back for one more day tomorrow. It will be the longest day ever. Ugh.

Meet Homer

The unfortunate, disgusting, egg-sized hematoma that has taken up residence on the back of my knee;

This was taken on December 29, so I still had stitches and quite a bit of swelling around the actual knot. It looks less scabby now and the bruising that you can sort of see on the lower right and swelling that is all around the top left are gone. Homer is much more red now for some reason (I suppose because of all the blood that's under there?) and is mushier sometimes. Other times, he's rock-hard and really sore.

The side view is a little wanky looking because of all the swelling--this ridiculously unflattering shot makes it look as if I don't have a kneecap. That swelling has gone way down, and that actually makes Homer stick out more from the side now than he did in this pic because all the puffiness around him is gone. Damn, I need to go tan.

The ortho says that it can take two weeks (which would be Thursday) or so to diminish. I can't imagine how it will be gone by then.

Homer is my body's way of reacting to the removal of a Baker's cyst that was evidently quite large. I had six stiches to close the incision, and that is, from all I've been told, a big ass incision for a Baker's cyst. Lucky me, right? The only upside is the lovely Demerol. I'm down to one dose a day now--just at night or after lots of walking and bending. Sitting at my desk all day today really did a number on him--Homer doesn't like being crushed when I cross my legs or sit with them bent, but he likes to wait and remind me of that two or three hours later when he grips my leg in paralyzing spasms and throbbing pain when I walk. He calls in all his fluid friends and they have a party around my kneecap. Good times, good times...I just invite Demerol and plant myself on the couch.

Now, admit it--you came to the blog purely out of morbid curiousity. Reveal yourself in the comments if you aren't too grossed out by the image.

pardon the brief interruption

shitty, terrible, horrible, no-good, very-bad mood lately and i have nothing even remotely positive or constructive to post or bitch about, so i'm going to take the weekend to just pull my head out of my ass and get my act together. or get really drunk and forget anything unpleasant. not sure which yet.

How Did You Wake Up Today?

I was pulled from a very sound sleep by Jay yelling every mother's favorite words: MOM, I PUKED!

Thinking back, I actually think I heard Jay puke, but I wasn't awake enough to process it. When he screeched his announcement, though, I was suddenly wide awake. I ran to his room to see him kneeling on his top bunk and a big puke puddle visible. He was sort of frantic and I couldn't get him to focus on getting down-he just said he felt weird. He's way too big for me to pick up and pull off the bunk, so he sat there for a few seconds, shaking his head. And then...

More puking.

All over his bed again. And I saw it. Lovely. And he woke Sam up. He felt instantly better, though, and somehow I got the sheet off the corner and he was able to start climbing down. Sam yelped from the bottom bunk that puke had dripped on his head. Moved him to the other end of his bed and worked on getting the sheet off, Jay moved, etc. Jay felt fine after the vomit. No troubles. Rinsed his mouth and I went about setting him up in my bed.

Once he was in, I realized I'd left the light on in their room, so I went to turn it off. Sam was awake and staring at the doorway. I asked him what was wrong. He said, "I can hear puke dripping down on my bed and it is freaking me out." Pleasant. I didn't see it, but sent him on to my bed, too. He got up between W. and Jay and I set about changing my clothes so I could take up residence on the couch. I had the bathroom door closed, when I heard W. yell, "Open the door!" I threw it open and made room for Jay, only to see Sam whizzing in and hanging over the toilet. About the time Jay said, "He's just faking", Sam unleashed.

More puking.

The volume was incredible considering the child only ate one slice of pizza and drank maybe one glass of milk. I was rather dumbfounded. I was also very proud. Sam is such a good puker; there was barely any mess on the toilet. I've trained him well. Once he was done, he rinsed and wiped and declared himself better.

So now, 45 minutes and three pukes later, I'm lying on the couch and W. and the two spewers are back in my room sleeping, hopefully. They both ate meatlovers pizza from Papa John's for dinner last night. As I left the room, I asked W. if he ate any of theirs. He didn't answer. It dawned on me when I settled in that I did eat the toppings off of one piece. Am hopeful that my rapid digestive system has somehow been spared--I think I would have already been sick by now, surely. Hopefully.

Slacker Kimmah

I've gotten rather lax on the blogging thing lately. Not exactly sure why--I just can't seem to focus long enough to type something out that makes sense. Probably because things in real life are rather hectic. My list:

1. School--spring break is upon us and that means that kids are in antsy mode. It's always fun to try and pound sentence structure and comma splices into the heads of vacation-minded 15-year-old boys.

2. School pt. 2--it has suddenly turned into summer, despite the impending SPRING break and we've been treated to high temps ranging from 82-88 this week. Sounds great? Well, it might if we were in an air conditioned building during the day. As we are not, it is like some form of torture. There has been no discernible breeze, no relief of any kind from my ancient fan, and no hint of artifical coolant. My room is on the west side of the building with 6-foot windows to let in loads and loads of blistering heat just in time for my class of 35 juniors and seniors. Sweltering doesn't even come close to describing it--actually, if we could just swelter, we'd be happy.

3. School pt. 3--because it's the end of the year and I teach seniors, it's also field trip time. Normally this happens in April-May, but we've started early this year. The new quarter started March 9. Since that day, I have not yet had all of my students in my 4th block Theatre Arts class (the one with 35 kids) at school and in class at the same time. Not one day. My attendance book looks like some sort of weird modern heiroglyphics with all the absents, tardies, field trips, doctor's notes and other sundry markings. It's a nightmare. Today was our last day of class because we have an assembly tomorrow. On the day before Spring Break. Good thing I don't give grades on written work in there or I'd never get the make-ups done.

4. School pt. 4--I'm on the retirement-party-planning committees for TWO different teachers this spring. I've also agreed to plan a little something for another teacher's 50th birthday on Friday. I also have to sort out three days' worth of lesson plans before I leave on Friday. I also have to clean off my desk. I also have to turn in my grade verifications. I also have to stay at school until seven again tomorrow night for inservice and then spend all day Friday in meetings that are stupid and boring and useless to anything that I do for a living.

5. Vacation--I leave for London on April 9. Wooohooo! That's a good thing. I'll be back on April 19.

6. Vacation pt. 2--Before I leave I have to pack up clothes for the kids to take to my parents' house for a week. I also need to clean my house because it is gross.

7. Vacation pt. 3--I haven't even thought about starting to pack for myself yet and I don't have any decent walking shoes. Oh, and London is insane expensive and I have not saved one penny toward spending money. Not one red cent.

8. Life in general--all I seem to have time for is wake up, work, home to eat, Y, home to put kids to bed, read online for an hour, go to bed. Something has to give.

9. Stupid things--oh, I also have time to go to the tanning bed. Skin cancer is a terrible thing and some day I'm going to really be pissed off at myself; however, I have no plans to quit going until I am suitably browned. I usually don't mind being fashionably pale, but for some reason this year, it has bugged me. Maybe because summer started in March.

10. Pets--we have a chick named Austin. Sam brought it home from school--they kept eggs in an incubator. If Austin survives chickhood, it will be a miracle. A bloody miracle. Sam has picked him up two dozen times a day, he's carried him around the house and he's taken him out to play in the front yard. Poor Austin has been a trooper through it al. I'll be most relieved when he goes to live at the farm--which shouldn't be much longer because he's got an incredible vertical jump and he's going to leap out of his box any minute. He bangs his head on the books we have covering him for every so often.

I think that's it for now. I'm going to attempt to catch up on blog reading. I don't have much faith that I will get far, though.

Ack! Chlorine!!

My eyes are suddenly a chlorinated mess. Been doing pool stuff since January and tonight it feels as if I bathed in acid. Waaaaaahhhhhh!