Checking In

I've been less computer-oriented the past week or so than I have in years. My laptop had to be sent away because of a motherboard/wireless connection problem that HP's laptops developed. They extended the warranty to cover the problem, thank goodness, so all I had to do was send it in and they're replacing my motherboard. While it's been gone, I've been using the fabulous new Dell desktop that I bought for W. for his bday/Father's Day/you're in nursing school and you need a better computer. Between W. and the kids, there's not much free time online, lol. The nice part is that I've not really missed it, kwim? I run in and check in here and there for a second and then I get up and go do something else. I think that's what my poor manic brain needed.

I've read a LOT of books in the past month. I desperately need to update my Goodreads info. Goodwill had their monthly 50% off everything sale yesterday and I went into book-buying overdrive. I bought 74 books. About 15 or so are for my classroom, the kids or other teachers, but the rest of them? Novels. I had already read all the stuff I bought at McKay's last month, so I needed some more books to read on vacation next week. Once I started piling them in the cart, I couldn't stop. I found lots of good things--some book I'd been wanting to read such as Like Water for Chocolate, Atonement, Snow Falling on Cedars, some Maeve Binchy and Steve Matini titles and the like. I also bought several Patricia Cornwell and Mary Higgins Clark titles and a couple of Sue Grafton's alphabet series as well. I tried to get a good variety so that W. and SIL would have stuff to read, too. I read Atonement yesterday. I've been reading a book a day for the past couple of weeks. I am forcing myself to cut back this week in order to get housework and mommy stuff done. I have seven days next week with nothing to do but cook a few meals, supervise my ornery children and lie on the beach. Such a rough life I lead, lol.

We're going to Gulf Shores, Alabama, for a nice stay. SIL and MIL, Lynda (with a friend) and Jeffrey are going, too. The condo will be a bit full, but I think we're going to have fun. It will be a treat to have more adults around so that the kids have more options--I'm very much a lie on the beach and read/nap/people watch kind of chick. W. is all about fishing. The kids like to do both, plus swim in a pool. Usually since we only have one car there, it takes a bit of juggling to get everyone where they want to be, but this time will be a bit easier. Sometimes I take for granted how well-located Tennssee is. We're just a seven-hour or so drive from great beaches on the Gulf, three or four hours from Atlanta or Memphis, a long day's drive from DC, three hours from the Smokey Mountains, etc.

Five is on a mission trip to Kentucky this week. He'll be helping repair homes in a poverty-stricken area. Packing for a week for him was no fun. Just the sheer volume of t-shirts alone was daunting. I used my fabulous Delsey suitcase that my mom gave me for Christmas. When I had all of his stuff packed, I called him in so I could explain what I was sending and the first thing he said was, "Mom, I think the suitcase is a bit too big. I think I'm supposed to bring a small bag." Translated: He was embarrassed that the suitcase was so large. I had quite a time explaining to him that in order to take enough long pants and shorts, t-shirts for working and for hanging out, socks, boxers, towels, medicine, toothbrush and other personal stuff AND a tool belt, measuring tape, nail apron and hammer along with an extra pair of shoes, there really wasn't any way to take a small carry-on sized suitcase. He pondered this and then asked, "Well, can you try to put the sleeping bag in the suitcase?" Uh, no. An adult-sized sleeping bag will NOT fit into an already loaded suitcase. He resigned himself to looking like a tourist and moved on to more important topics--snacks for the trip.

Sam, Jay and I are home on our own this week. W. has to work everyday but Thursday, so the boys and I will be doing a great deal of pool time and maybe a trip or two to the park. They havie swim lessons every day, so that gives us a good reason to get up and get ready at a decent hour. Speaking of swim lessons, I guess I should go get stuff ready. A day at the pool requires much food and drink planning and I'm such a ditz I have to allow enough time to figure out what I've forgotten.

Hope everyone had a great 4th!!

Oh, last thing....my cousin's daughter has a fabulous new online biz--Good Fortune Soap. All her things are handmade with natural ingredients. She's going to be sending me some samples so I can farm them out to some of you. When they arrive, I'll post more info and tiny little presents will be shipped out to those who want some.

I cannot seem to get into a good workout routine. Either something comes up at the last minute or my neck hurts so much that I don't dare do anything strenuous.

Random

1. I'm tired of being tired.

2. I have strained my left tricep. I'm beginning to think that this whole exercise thing is just too dangerous for some people.

3. I love biscuits.

4. I also love lima beans.

5. And meatloaf.

6. Stupidity really makes my head hurt lately.

7. I do not feel 39 at all.

8. I wish it was NFL time. Basketball sucks.

9. One of my couch cushions is noticeably cleaner than the others. I wonder if that Resolve upholstery cleaner is any good?

10. We had a cow slaughtered and processed- $196 for 585 pounds of beef. That is .34 per pound--steaks, roasts, and loads of ground beef. Guess what we'll be eating this spring and summer? I've been paying $2.00+ per pound for ground round.

11. I have fifty dollars in my cash stash drawer. This is pathetic, but I cannot remember the last time that I intentionally set aside cash to have for miscellaneous purposes. I'm soooo bad with money. This fifty makes me feel very happy. I'm putting ten bucks per week in the drawer. I think I will use it to buy myself a new swimsuit. Or some really great spring/summer shoes. Or to pay school fees for next year. Ugh. Kids are so expensive.

12. Our school has a new dress code next year--the kids have to wear solid shirts w/ a collar in one of six colors--navy and white are the county-wide colors and then our school added light blue, red, black and pink. Naturally we have approximately five shirts between three kids that will meet these regulations. I imagine part of #11 will also be used to purchase school shirts. I'm conflicted about this--I like the idea of being able to dress them easier and in the long run, it will make life easier because we won't have so many clothes, but I also hate the idea of seeing nothing but blue and red and the occassional pink. It's going to be weird.

13. My parents' 41st anniversary is coming up and I want to send them something because I never do. I'm thinking about an edible fruit bouquet, but they're sort of pricey and my mother could make one of them on her own for far less and that nags at the one frugal bone I have. But the idea of presents is to splurge on a treat, right? Ugh. I don't know.

14. I cannot believe that The Closer won't start new episodes until frigging JULY. Pisses me off.

Ass? Kicked.

Back to the Y tonight for my favorite muscle sculpting class. Lighter weights, lots of reps. One hour. I've not been to it since November and right now? I feel every 'muscle' in my body screaming. Getting old and decrepit just really SUCKS.

listes

things i enjoy:

1. bananas
2. whole wheat baguettey french bread from kroger
3. max factor volume couture mascara in soft black or auburn
4. cheese
5. flip flops
6. laminating
7. sharp scissors
8. cheap bottled water from aldi
9. maroon 5
10. muscle sculpting classes at the Y
11. digital cameras
12. pedicures
13. cinnamon graham crackers
14. short hair
15. hot tubs
16. boats
17. banana boat sunscreen spray
18. ipod
19. dvr'd top chef and the closer
20. a well written sentence
21. london and new york
22. hair straightening products and utensils
23. myspace surveys
24. stila tinted moisturizer
25. cold zin
26. lavendar and maroon
27. blogs
28. freshmen
29. wedge sandals
30. grilled chicken

things i hate:

1. sweating in the car
2. leg cramps
3. yaz birth control pills
4. protein shakes
5. squash
6. putting away laundry
7. torturous undies
8. shaving my legs
9. 'pro' wrestling
10. senior girls with attitude
11. smelly middle schoolers
12. frigging legos
13. step aerobics
14. bad local commercials
15. morons on message boards
16. spammers on myspace
17. balancing my checking accounts
18. being late
19. being so far away from friends
20. dog hair
21. spider veins
22. hangnails
23. woody allen movies
24. road contruction
25. drunken neighbors
26. cartoons
27. arm fat
28. run on sentences
29. holy rollers
30. getting old

more random

my brain is too fried to focus on one topic, so i'm just going to sort of release the pressure.

1. school starts tomorrow and i have a small bitchy rant. i had the cutest outfit planned to wear for registration day--it's a short day for kids and i can change after they leave. i was going to wear my cute new skirt from target (susan knows the one) and a black tee and my favorite black wedges. very professional and cute and summery. on friday i found out that we are expected to wear a school t-shirt to make the faculty more visible. like i was going to get lost in a high school with less than 200 students? where i've taught for twelve years? where my homeroom students haven't changed from last year? where maaaaybe ten parents will show up in grades 9-12 and need to talk to a teacher? so, the cute outfit is scrapped and i get to wear a gray-tshirt with school crap on it (it's not even cute) and jeans. i don't have a clue what shoes to wear now--my tennies are brown, mywedges are too dressy, obviously, and old navy flip flops are almost too low and make me walk on my hem in the jeans. pisses me off.
2. our internet is so slow, i swear dial-up would smoke past it. charter said it was probably the modem, so we bought a new modem. still creeping along at the speed of molasses. neither of us will be home this week, so who knows when we'll be able to get a service call. pisses me off, too. more than the clothes thing.
3. some friends of ours are having marital problems--probably divorcing. i've never really understood how they ended up married in the first place. i've never known a couple that was so drastically and totally opposite. night/day and then some. do you think that opposites attract? i do, actually. i think there is something inherently interesting and exciting about connecting with someone for reasons other than the typical common interests or background, etc.; however, they are such an extreme that i can't even see where the common thread could have ever been.
4. i love pringles. they have no nutritional value and aren't even real chips, but i enjoy them tremendously.
5. i have spent entirely too much money and time on underwear lately. i am on a quest to find comfortable panties--i've tried several styles and i'm just NOT loving any of them: boy brief, hipster, low rise, low cut. i swear, what does it take to make a pair of underwear that doesn't hang out the top of my pants nor ride up my butt nor put seams in uncomfortable places? sheesh.
6. i'm eagerly awaiting the new matt damon movie, the bourne ultimatum. i have been watching the bourne supremecy on dvr. i have the bourne identity on dvd. love matt damon and love the series. it will be a nice back-to-school treat for me.
7. i do not have killer abs. i will never have killer abs. i go to a class called killer abs and i enjoy it muchly. it's futile, though, rather like banging one's head, or abs, against the wall, i suppose.
8. i'm watching shark and tonight's episode is about a madam. i find it utterly ridiculous that prostitution is illegal.
9. i need to color my hair. i have no idea what color i want to use--i'm sort of sick of the same old red. may do more blonde this time, just for the hell of it while i'm tan.
10. do you have one person that you use as your 'confessor'? a person that you can tell anything without any qualms? other than a spouse or s.o., of course. i think everyone needs a friend like that. i feel very lucky.
11. just to make it odd and get outside my comfort box, i'm going to add an 11. did you know that you can pre-order wheezy's book?

random

1. i have one of THOSE zits that hurts like a mofo and is just sitting there, taunting me as it causes most of the left side of my face to throb. i'm 38. i should not be having zits still. it's not fair, dammit.

2. i've started running on the treadmill at the Y. i am so NOT graceful that it is ridiculous. these wee, lithe women sprint effortlessly and silently along on their treadmills while i give the impression that a herd of small african animals are charging toward the watering hole. maybe i need new shoes??? yes, that must be it.

3. my kids have a puking virus. sam started it and passed it to jay and then five. and of the three kids--sam is the super puker. he woke from a dead sleep and went straight to the bathroom, puked, got a drink, and went back to sleep. no huge drama, no vomit onthe floor. just did his thing. he's 6. jay? puked all over the sunroom carpet, which required us to rent a carpet cleaner. he's 8. five? he threw up in a bucket and then proceeded to bring the bucket outside to show me and w. while we were at the neighbors. and then, later, after he'd thrown up again and made such a ruckus i was sure an internal organ had been regurgitated, begged me to take him to the doctor because he 'obviously' had a life-threatening illness. yeah, whatever buddy. he's 14.

4. if i get the puke virus, i'm going to be pissed off if for no other reason because i ate a protein bar today (EAS Advant Edge carb control chocolate creme) which was 1.79 and i'll be pissed off if i throw it up without getting the 21g of protein.

5. today is five's birthday. i am simply not old enough to have a 14-year-old child. i have acne, for god's sake. where did the time go?

6. i wanted some sugar-free ice cream last night and my kroger didn't have any. wtf? i can get edy's sf butter pecan at walgreen's--everyone's source for ice cream products-- but KROGER doesn't carry it? so now i get to pay walgreen's prices if i want to eat it.

7. my classroom is the biggest wreck you can imagine. it is going to take days to straighten thanks to blind, illiterate prisoners who put our stuff back in our rooms after the floors were cleaned.

8. where are all of my socks? where, where, where.

9. i have yet another skort with hidden, mystery shorts. it's very comfy--goodwill, thank you, a liz claiborne. this one has a much more complicated entry, but it looks like a cute wrap around skirt when on. i need a tan t-shirt. i've been wearing white, but tan would look better.

10. jay is the whiniest child in the western hemisphere--8-year-olds annoy me.

misc. thing spewing from my brain

the percocet haze--it's an interesting thing.

• my recovery from this surgery has been ridiculously easy--i feel sort of stupid even saying i've had surgery because there is really not that much pain or swelling. i've used crutches only once so far and that was after PT. i'm still bruised, the teeniest bit swollen, and stiff, but really, nothing bad. i took a pain pill tonight because for some reason i thought it made sense to wear 3+inch wedge heels to dinner (probably would have been okay) and then to wal mart. achey, but still not horrible. and the meds dull the pain, yes they do.




• wtf is the point of a skort exactly? i bought one tonight because it was cute and almost knee-length (i have thigh issues) and i thought it was a good alternative to wearing shorts for inservice and the like, but i'm really confused. why the shorts-under-a-skirt? you can't even see the shorts part (i wouldn't have bought it if you could). the front and the back look like a skirt..see here: see? no visible skort markings on the front and none on the back, either. just random shorts underneath. WHY? i guess i can climb a ladder when at work without fear of flashing.


• i'm going to meet with a trainer at the Y tomorrow (was supposed to go friday, but rescheduled it) and i'm determined to take what he says and turn it into my july-obsession.


• i find that i enjoy britain's next top model much more than i do the american version...and i just realized that the presenter (i have no clue what her name is) sounds just like my one of my favorite chicks from the bbc's version of trading spaces--changing rooms. i can't remember her name either--the blonde one who also does home invaders or what every that show is.


• i really like lush's aqua marine face cleanser. a lot. i'm almost done with my sample and i shudder to think how much that's going to set me back when i get ready to purchase a full-sized portion. *shakes imaginary fist at frisque and other lushies for piquing my interest*.


• getting and maintaining a tan takes far more effort than i really ever want to put into my appearance. ditto with getting defined arm muscles, come to think of it.


• i wore a white headband swimming yesterday and when i came home and took it off, it had red blotches on it from my hair color. that is troublesome, to say the least. guess i'll be coloring on a more regular basis during chlorine season, eh?


• o'charley's has the best damn fried mozzerella that i've had. it's expensive, yet worth it. the rest of their menu? not so much.


• i'm going to spearhead 'family yardwork day' in the morning. it should be a real sight to behold. oy.


• blogger offers up 'scooters' as a sample label title--are there really THAT many people who would use a "scooter' category?


• lucy, the blonde chick, just won bntm on my dvr. in case you care. she beat edwina. i'm so glad that my name is not edwina. or lucy for that matter.

Ack! Chlorine!!

My eyes are suddenly a chlorinated mess. Been doing pool stuff since January and tonight it feels as if I bathed in acid. Waaaaaahhhhhh!

Y, Y, Y!

Why do people not control their wild-ass children in the pool at the Y?

Why do people let their children roam free around said Y pool?

Why do people let their children scream incessantly in the same pool?

Why did a young, unattended child feel the need to sit on the edge of the hot tub and talk to me non-stop for five minutes?

Why did a man choose a swimsuit that looks like boxershorts minus the fly?

Why did the previously mentioned man kneel on the bench in the hot tub suspiciously close to one of the jets and remain there for several minutes?

Why can I not manage to put my hair up in a manner that will keep it from getting soaked in overly-chlorinated water?

Why did I think it was a good idea to try to run with my knees coming up out of 3.5 foot water for several minutes?

Why can't the yucky arm-flappy stuff under arms disappear when one diets?

Why am I freakishly obsessed with water aerobics all of a sudden?

WH

Bored, Bored, Bored!

I'm sitting here on my substantial posterior doing absolutley nothing today. W. is on a trip for the weekend, so it's just me and the boys. Well, not all of them--Five went to a church retreat last night and won't be home until Sunday, so it's just me and the little guys, but only until 4:00. At 4:00, they'll both be leaving--one to spend the night with MIL and the other to go to a Predators game, so it will be just me, myself and I for six or seven hours.

For some reason, perhapsin part because I'm just giddy at the prospect of being all alone this evening, I've been rendered immobile because I cannot seem to get up and do diddly today. It isn't the engaging content on the internet that's distracting me because I appear to be one of five people online today. It's not the television programming because right now its one of Court TVs true-crime shows and I have no clue what's going on. It isn't a lack of sleep because I went to bed at 10 and didn't wake until 8. I suppose it can only be one thing--I'm a lazy slug. *sigh*

Eventually I'm going to have to drag myself from my bed and supervise the showering and dressing of the two kiddos and make myself presentable. Then, I'll drop them where they need to be and proceed to my favorite steak place and get something takeout for dinner ( steak and chicken combo that is to die for...rib-eye and marinated chicken breast, both of which just melt in your mouth), eat in front of something on my DVR backlog, and at 7, treat myself to the movies-Music and Lyrics. I really SHOULD be cleaning something, sorting something or doing sme sort of household improvements or at the very least going to the Y and using some sort of equipment, but that just seems so very daunting right now. I really am a lazy slug, it seems.

Look Before You Puff

I'm now a card-carrying, auto-paying member of the local YMCA. This in and of itself is rather amusing since I'm fairly sure no one who knows me or just happens to see me would think, "She likes exercise", but I have accepted the fact that one cannot look like an exerciser without actually exercising. So, I go.

Just getting there is an adventure--see the Embarrassing Post below for one of many examples--because I'm not particularly good at keeping up with things such as sneakers, Y cards, gym bags and all that. I have one bag that I've used as a workout bag for years that I finally unearthed at work. It was under my desk and filled with remnants from our trip to the state fair (in September) and numerous elementary drama books that I evidently decided to move from home to school. Or something. I don't actually know where they came from or why they were in the bag. My memory is totally blank. But I found the bag, which was the important part.

I have one really bad knee and one almost-as-bad-but-not-surgically-altered-knee, so now that I've decided to be all fit and shit, I am having to be cautious when I do any sort of cardio. I'm taking water aerobics 2x per week and going to the fitness center two or three days, too. I used to be a treadmill kind of girl, but that was before the knee and everyone tells me that I need to be very careful using the treadmill since there is a lot of shock on the knee. I've done it, but not much. It did hurt a little bit, but not terribly. But the treadmill gets sort of boring, even when I get to watch the little attache television (frankly, one of the main reason I like to go to the gym at night is to watch TNT uninterrupted).

I've tried the recumbant bike (see previous post) and I like it, but I realize that I have to mix things up, so, I decided to give the ol' elliptical machine another try. Pre-surgery, I couldn't do the stupid thing because it absolutely killed my knee. Oh, and I was such a fat slug that it nearly killed me, too. I finally gave up even trying at my old gym...it was too depressing.

I vowed to try again--after all, how hard can it be? There are scads of people on the things every time I'm in there and they are all just flitting around on the things like they haven't a care in the world. So, I try since my knee is slightly better, but I quickly decide that I'm still a fat slug because that machine? It is of the devil. Satan has an entire room filled with those suckers just waiting on me in hell (on a fresh carpet of Easter grass and Legos with a soundtrack of bluegrass and rap music in the background, I'm sure). How the HELL do those perky little wenches jump up and down on the damn things like they're on trampolines or something? I can go for miles on the bike or treadmill, but on this? I think I did .5 in 10 minutes. And that was as far as I could go. I laugh at the little signs posted on each machine that says, "during peak times of 5pm to 7pm, please limit your time on this machine to 30 minutes." ROFLMAO. Okay, no problem. I'll be glad to spend 30 minutes on it--can I just stand there and watch television for 20 minutes or so?

After the whopping 10-minute workout, my thighs were burning, my calves were in knots and I was wheezing, which is always attractive and impressive in a gym setting. I realized that I didn't want to die of an asthma attack in the YMCA--even I have some pride--so, I staggered from the fitness area to my locker, dug around in my gym bag, finally found my inhaler tucked under a brush and some lotion and a plethora of flotsam left over from the fair trip and I puffed.

And then I nearly died.

Why? Well, because it had been in the bottom of my tote along with some Cheez-It crumbs. I inhaled fucking Cheez-Its into my lungs and that, my friends, burns like a sombitch. Glass shards, ricin, volcanic ash and Cheez-It crumbs. All can be lethal. It took me several minutes to recover and be able to breathe normally. After that, cardio was done for this fat girl. I decided to take my chances in the pool since there is lots of humidity that I figured would be healing on my poor, scarred lungs.

I'll be back on that damn machine come Monday because now it's a challenge--I have to be able to do better (albeit when it is not crowded in the fitness area because I don't like flailing in front of fit folks), but in the future I will use the inhaler before I step on the stupid machine...after I've checked for foreign objects, of course.