So, I'm a grocery-shopping FIEND lately. I've been trying to make a budget and a menu and actually stick to it--I figure I've done things the half-assed, slapdash method for 15 years with terrible results, so why not take the advice of the gazillion people that get paid to give spazzes like me the tools to make life easier. Where was I? Grocery shopping, that's it. Okay.
Last week, I did my requisite Kroger and Aldi runs on the weekend--Saturday, if memory serves me correctly. One of the must-have items is always yogurt. Specifically Kroger yogurt. The kids and W. fight over the damn stuff, so I try to buy specific flavors for each of them. Jay and Five like strawberry banana, Sam like plan strawberry, and W. likes the more exotic flavors like key lime pie, bananas foster, cherry vanilla, etc. I dragged all the groceries in (or so I thought) and put everything away. I've had some previous experiences w/ leaving groceries out (raw chicken, a pork roast, eggs) either on top of the fridge or in the car, so I'm usually very careful to make sure I have everything. Little did I know......
Back to today---ran outto grab some groceries because I realized that I'm not going to want to worry about it the next two days. When I went to put the groceries in the van, I was horrified to find a key lime pie yogurt that had been left behind and then, even worse, the little practically useless foil top had burst wide open and there was a puddle of yogurt water in the little well where my captain's chair fastens down (I have one of them out). Then, sliding down the side of the well above the lake o' yogurt slime, was the 'solid' part of the yogurt--a particularlly vile shade of green slime just sitting there. Mocking me. At first I thought it was some slime toy that had gone awry, but when I moved the pile of kids' van crap away, the container was revealed.
Now, the title question comes in--why DIDN'T it smell like ass? Or at least reek of lime? I had not noticed a damn thing and I'd been driving around with a festering pool of yogurt vomit in my van. It was underneath a plastic bag of some sort, which had shielded it all that time, but would that negate the smell? And why didn't it stink when I unearthed the unholy nearly-flourescent mess?
The only upside to this whole sitch is the fact that it didn't spew all over the carpet. If you're going to have a yogurt blow out in a minivan, the chair-hooking well, which is lined with plastic, is the best place for it to occur.
The only upside to this whole sitch is the fact that it didn't spew all over the carpet. If you're going to have a yogurt blow out in a minivan, the chair-hooking well, which is lined with plastic, is the best place for it to occur.
5 comments:
Yogurt is still alive with yeast, so it wasn't some nasty old rotting food product...it's still good for you. Taste it!
LOL! "Festering pool of yogurt vomit!" I'll never eat Key Lime yogurt again but you made me laugh.
Has it been cold enough to ward off the rotting smell? I suspect this happening two months from now would not have produced the same outcome.
Oooh, and I'm a strawberry/banana girl myself.
Ew, yogurt rot.
My sophomore year of college, I had an absolutely disgusting roommate. Now, I'm the first to admit that I am horribly untidy (my apartment is generally in post-hurricane form), but she was FILTHY. Particularly when old foodstuffs were involved. She'd eat soup cold out of the can, then leave the can to fester on her desk. She'd eat some wings, and let the bones fester on her desk. She'd eat an apple and let it turn black on her desk, and then attract fruit flies. I usually never touched the mess, hoping she'd get the idea.
She didn't. She spent so much time over at her boyfriend's place that she rarely came back, except to add to her collection of rotting food waste while watching fucking Jason Mraz concerts over and over on the internets.
It got really godawful. So suitemates and I shoved EVERYTHING on her desktop, minus her computer, into a box, and put it out in the common area, where everyone could see it, and labelled it "Property of Karen L**".
I don't think she ever found out what happened - at least she didn't act like anything had happened - the garbage soon returned.
Still, one day she asked me what happened to her coffee cup. I shrugged, and suggested she clean to look for it.
The cleaning never happened.
During one period of hypomania, I became incensed by her side of the room, so I went on a mad cleaning spree until her side of the room was immaculate. She returned to our suite at some point a fe days later, and did not remark on the fact that her bed was made, her garbage was gone, and the floor was vacuumed.
The last thing I told her before I moved out was to go fuck herself.
I see that the picture you posted still had the plastic lid; to save costs, they resorted to the flimsy foil lid. I haven't seen the banana foster yogurt. The Kroger yogurts I like best are key lime, lemon, banana, and strawberry-banana.
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