A Meme from Survey's Blog

I was digging around in her archives and thought I'd pull this out and share it with whomever would like to respond. RIP Survey, hon.

I AM: struggling with career issues and trying to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my professional life.

I WANT: to go to New York City soon.

I WISH: my head would stop hurting.

I HATE: dealing with laundry!

I MISS: some very dear friends from past phases of my life.

I FEAR: water at night.

I HEAR: way more than my students want me to--they say I have bionic hearing.

I WONDER: if I will ever be able to wear this skirt from Banana Republic that a friend sent me (it's a size FOUR? I think it's unlikely).

I REGRET: being indecisive at key points in my life.

I AM NOT: an organized person.

I DANCE: when alcohol and loud music are involved.

I SING: a lot and loudly.

I CRY: at graduation.

I AM NOT ALWAYS: frugal.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: lots and lots of messes.

I WRITE: because it is second nature to me.

I CONFUSE: lots and lots of ninth graders.

Happy Leap Day!

I'm going to start blogging in March. I've been such a blog slacker lately, but I haven't really had much to say. I've been very wrapped up in myself and hermitesque. I'm determined to burst free from the chains of my warped brain and get back into life. I have upped the vitamins and I'm really TRYING to shake the depressive and oppressive mood that has been overtaking me.

I posted on another place that I'm bipolar. It's something that I've sort of dismissed for the most part because I've never really had the extreme highs or lows that are so often associated with bipolar. However, I'm starting realize that the mini-lows can be pretty damn crippling. I started sliding down in November, but it was so subtle that I didn't really pick up on it. I just stopped working out--bad knee, bad back. Lots of excuses. Then I started slacking off at work--papers piling up, less creative lesson planning, etc. Then I started eating sweets and junky carbs because of the holidays (my current holiday season is Leap Day, soon to blend into my birthday then St. Patricks Day, then Easter--the holiday season never ends for me). Then after I had the knee surgery, I stopped worrying about what I wore and my clothes are just in piles everywhere. I haven't done a thorough house cleainging in months. Then I stopped posting on blogs or boards and just sealed myself off. Suddenly, I'm realizing the magnitude of the change and the slide and it sort of freaks me out. I'd much rather be all ADHD/manic than like this.

So here's to a Manic March--only one where I don't spend much money. For the first time in ages, I haven't had to touch my savings account and I have a little money left over at the end of every two weeks, plus some 'mad money' stashed away. I feel very proud of myself for once when it comes to money.

I turn 39 very soon...too soon. That's one of those 'old' numbers that really unnerves me a bit. I feel as if I have a helluva lot to do in the next year because 40 is something of a new chapter. I don't want to leave this chapter unfinished...I just have to figure out exactly what the plot is going to be.